for Untitled Adventure7/14/2008 c1 
12SingLikeNo1IsListening
I really liked it, and i'm looking forward to reading more. I would check your grammer,and describe the characters and setting a bit more. Good luck!
12SingLikeNo1IsListeningI really liked it, and i'm looking forward to reading more. I would check your grammer,and describe the characters and setting a bit more. Good luck!
6/27/2008 c1 Anna
This isn't a bad beginning for your story...it has a lot of promise. I do think you need to check over your spelling, punctuation, and grammar. A little more description wouldn't hurt, either.
I hope I'm not being too critical. I really do like the way you've begun your story.
This isn't a bad beginning for your story...it has a lot of promise. I do think you need to check over your spelling, punctuation, and grammar. A little more description wouldn't hurt, either.
I hope I'm not being too critical. I really do like the way you've begun your story.