for The Rabbi and Sarai Take 18/2/2008 c1 
7Elantil
I liked this one. Let those who have never sinned cast the first stone. I liked how you used that one line and expanded a story on it. I'm not too familiar with biblical or religious characters, but I thought this was good.
I thought that the description of Sarai and her feelings were well done. Too many times, I've read stories where the characters don't feel human at all, their reactions weren't realistic. But here I feel that if I were in her situation and I've grown up in a society like that, most likely that would be how I'd react as well. And reading it, I felt scorn for those hypocritical men who let Joseph walked free and only persecuted the woman, that for me works well because the reader was able to feel something as well.
Although I would have liked to know what he wrote but I didn't feel like you've robbed me of anything by leaving it out. And you're right, I felt the ending needs a little more work, I can't say what because it's not my story to dictate. But overall, it's a good story.
7ElantilI liked this one. Let those who have never sinned cast the first stone. I liked how you used that one line and expanded a story on it. I'm not too familiar with biblical or religious characters, but I thought this was good.
I thought that the description of Sarai and her feelings were well done. Too many times, I've read stories where the characters don't feel human at all, their reactions weren't realistic. But here I feel that if I were in her situation and I've grown up in a society like that, most likely that would be how I'd react as well. And reading it, I felt scorn for those hypocritical men who let Joseph walked free and only persecuted the woman, that for me works well because the reader was able to feel something as well.
Although I would have liked to know what he wrote but I didn't feel like you've robbed me of anything by leaving it out. And you're right, I felt the ending needs a little more work, I can't say what because it's not my story to dictate. But overall, it's a good story.
6/23/2008 c1 306Ashelin
I most definitely dig it. I think I like best how much character you put into her. Because I love all the forgotten characters in the Bible, you know, the ones that get slightly referenced, and you just have to wonder about them. Who was she? Like there is this one I'm sort of obsessed with, a prostitute Samson slept with before he met Delilah, and I always wonder what her part was, just to be some random whore? I guess because that's how I always feel I'll be, just a short reference without even a name. But I don't mind so much, I just like knowing. I think you did excellent at staying true [as true as fiction can be] to the story and the time. As for the curtains, I really do doubt they would have them, but I'm not too sure. My thoughts would be that the weather and dusty conditions would be more of a barrier than anything else, but I couldn't tell you. The ending does seem a little abrupt, and the last line seems to be missing something in my opinion. Also in the second to last paragraph you said "then" too many times for my taste, but one of my pet peeves is repetition. I liked how you didn't tell us what he was writing, but we could figure it out ourselves with deductive reasoning. I love things like that. I also liked how you made Jesus [though you never officially said who he was] very limited in dialogue. It added to the character I think. Overall an excellent story in my opinion.
306AshelinI most definitely dig it. I think I like best how much character you put into her. Because I love all the forgotten characters in the Bible, you know, the ones that get slightly referenced, and you just have to wonder about them. Who was she? Like there is this one I'm sort of obsessed with, a prostitute Samson slept with before he met Delilah, and I always wonder what her part was, just to be some random whore? I guess because that's how I always feel I'll be, just a short reference without even a name. But I don't mind so much, I just like knowing. I think you did excellent at staying true [as true as fiction can be] to the story and the time. As for the curtains, I really do doubt they would have them, but I'm not too sure. My thoughts would be that the weather and dusty conditions would be more of a barrier than anything else, but I couldn't tell you. The ending does seem a little abrupt, and the last line seems to be missing something in my opinion. Also in the second to last paragraph you said "then" too many times for my taste, but one of my pet peeves is repetition. I liked how you didn't tell us what he was writing, but we could figure it out ourselves with deductive reasoning. I love things like that. I also liked how you made Jesus [though you never officially said who he was] very limited in dialogue. It added to the character I think. Overall an excellent story in my opinion.