for When in Mexico do as the Mexicans do9/7/2008 c7 
17the flaming river
You know what I would do? I would just have it fast forward and have her getting over Jose and finding some other guy, when she's older. That's how I would go but I want to see where you take this. LOL I personally like it so far. Keep at it
17the flaming riverYou know what I would do? I would just have it fast forward and have her getting over Jose and finding some other guy, when she's older. That's how I would go but I want to see where you take this. LOL I personally like it so far. Keep at it
7/28/2008 c5 alex602az
oh my gosh!
this chapter was awsome!
i cant belive they actually did it!
hurry with the next chapter!
oh my gosh!
this chapter was awsome!
i cant belive they actually did it!
hurry with the next chapter!
7/28/2008 c5 the flaming river
Wow. That must have sucked like hell. And they didn't even remember it. They must have been so wasted. That was interesting. I can't wait to hear about what happens next. How will her family react when she didn't come home? Update soon!
Wow. That must have sucked like hell. And they didn't even remember it. They must have been so wasted. That was interesting. I can't wait to hear about what happens next. How will her family react when she didn't come home? Update soon!
7/28/2008 c5 4Alia Brown
Wow, that was an interesting chapter. Wonder what's going to happen next.
The story really is good, but you need to watch your grammar. Other than that, good job!
4Alia BrownWow, that was an interesting chapter. Wonder what's going to happen next.
The story really is good, but you need to watch your grammar. Other than that, good job!
6/30/2008 c2 4Suppy
I think you're getting somewhere here (: As previously said, beta reader would do you some good, make the story even MORE worth reading. ^^ (I could be it.. :o.. ignore me xD)
Anyway, keep up the great work.
-Cherish
4SuppyI think you're getting somewhere here (: As previously said, beta reader would do you some good, make the story even MORE worth reading. ^^ (I could be it.. :o.. ignore me xD)
Anyway, keep up the great work.
-Cherish
6/25/2008 c1 9Sally Can Wait
This review comes in _ parts. :D
1) Either spend longer fixing grammar mistakes, or get a Beta. There is a reason people become professional editors: no matter how awesome a story is, bad grammar distracts from it. It's sad, but true.
2) You don't have to underline the names of famous people/music groups. Uh.. I'm not sure if there is a special reason you did that, but it isn't necessary. Also, don't include references to pop culture unless they have a substantial reason. (Such as, the names of the famous soccer players work.)
3) Cute idea! I live reall close to Mexico (in fact, I've practically learned more Spanish from life than school.) I can't wait to meet Andres. M chicano boy.. :)
Keep it up :D
Sally
9Sally Can WaitThis review comes in _ parts. :D
1) Either spend longer fixing grammar mistakes, or get a Beta. There is a reason people become professional editors: no matter how awesome a story is, bad grammar distracts from it. It's sad, but true.
2) You don't have to underline the names of famous people/music groups. Uh.. I'm not sure if there is a special reason you did that, but it isn't necessary. Also, don't include references to pop culture unless they have a substantial reason. (Such as, the names of the famous soccer players work.)
3) Cute idea! I live reall close to Mexico (in fact, I've practically learned more Spanish from life than school.) I can't wait to meet Andres. M chicano boy.. :)
Keep it up :D
Sally