for Mediation for the Troubled Mind11/5/2008 c1 
9Air Rey
This is great. Some sentences seemed to rhyme that makes it easier to read. The characters seemed to be a bit underdeveloped. Maybe I should've read the prequel. Great job! Hope to read more of your works. Hope you could read some of mine as well.
9Air ReyThis is great. Some sentences seemed to rhyme that makes it easier to read. The characters seemed to be a bit underdeveloped. Maybe I should've read the prequel. Great job! Hope to read more of your works. Hope you could read some of mine as well.
10/25/2008 c6 4GrannyP
Yay! I am finally getting around to reading everything that I haven't been reading in the past three weeks! Look at me go!
Alright, so the first part was totally confusing to me, which just made it hilarious and I couldn't stop laughing. But I could totally relate because I have never seen this show they are watching, and that actually sounds like how I would think about it in my head, with all the parentheses and everything.
Oh, and at the very end, I was thinking, now would be a good time for Finn to kiss Carrie. And then he did! HA! I totally called that one! Well, I didn't actually expect him to do it, but he did, which made me giggle with giddiness or something.
And honestly, I have no opinion as I read the Meredith part. Nothing stood out to me as "wrong" or whatever with it. Personally, I was kind of glad that she came back in and we get to see that she's not completely evil or whatever like some other characters might want us to believe. I mean, she's human too, right?
So, yeah, keep up the good work!
4GrannyPYay! I am finally getting around to reading everything that I haven't been reading in the past three weeks! Look at me go!
Alright, so the first part was totally confusing to me, which just made it hilarious and I couldn't stop laughing. But I could totally relate because I have never seen this show they are watching, and that actually sounds like how I would think about it in my head, with all the parentheses and everything.
Oh, and at the very end, I was thinking, now would be a good time for Finn to kiss Carrie. And then he did! HA! I totally called that one! Well, I didn't actually expect him to do it, but he did, which made me giggle with giddiness or something.
And honestly, I have no opinion as I read the Meredith part. Nothing stood out to me as "wrong" or whatever with it. Personally, I was kind of glad that she came back in and we get to see that she's not completely evil or whatever like some other characters might want us to believe. I mean, she's human too, right?
So, yeah, keep up the good work!
10/21/2008 c6 11vrivasfl
If anyone is having a mental breakdown, it's Finn. Not that I blame the guy. Everything is crumbling around him. It makes sense that his mental state would bog down the face of the deterioration of the all the physicality that once surrounded him. Actually, looking at the chapter in a whole, Finn in bringing everything in to context just so it can collapse. His breakdown seems to be more exact that Meredith's mini outburst.
As for that scene in particular, I didn't really see anything wrong with it. It does come out of know where and it was speedy, but Meredith had established herself in the previous story as a "speedy out of nowhere" person, so it was totally in character for her.
What happens in the future. Well, not much, I see, There are only two chapters left in Finn's perspective, and now he has two problems to deal with. Who is the third story going to be seen from? My guess would be Charlie.
This chapter was solid. That's all I can say for this chapter. Solid work.
11vrivasflIf anyone is having a mental breakdown, it's Finn. Not that I blame the guy. Everything is crumbling around him. It makes sense that his mental state would bog down the face of the deterioration of the all the physicality that once surrounded him. Actually, looking at the chapter in a whole, Finn in bringing everything in to context just so it can collapse. His breakdown seems to be more exact that Meredith's mini outburst.
As for that scene in particular, I didn't really see anything wrong with it. It does come out of know where and it was speedy, but Meredith had established herself in the previous story as a "speedy out of nowhere" person, so it was totally in character for her.
What happens in the future. Well, not much, I see, There are only two chapters left in Finn's perspective, and now he has two problems to deal with. Who is the third story going to be seen from? My guess would be Charlie.
This chapter was solid. That's all I can say for this chapter. Solid work.
10/18/2008 c6 belle1220
So, really, I just love Finn. He's great. I didn't mind the Meredith scene, but I honestly can't remember why the broke up in the first place. I read the first story so quick and really didn't want Forrester and Meredith together that I didn't pay too much attention to their demise.
How many more chapters of Finn do we get before the apocalypse comes? Great title...can only bring good things :)
So, really, I just love Finn. He's great. I didn't mind the Meredith scene, but I honestly can't remember why the broke up in the first place. I read the first story so quick and really didn't want Forrester and Meredith together that I didn't pay too much attention to their demise.
How many more chapters of Finn do we get before the apocalypse comes? Great title...can only bring good things :)
10/18/2008 c6 Written
WATCH ME NOT SIGN IN. because I'm all like, cool like that.
first thought: CALIFORNIAA HERE WE CO O O O O O O O O O ME
... re: your summary.
ahaha. okay, so I don't watch tv, and the way he's all like calling her "season" and stuff? I TOTALLY DO THAT. I mean, not that specific character, but yeah. I can never learn their names and stuff. even with shows I supposedly "like". I need to learn to watch TV better.
uh oh... what will carrie do?
poor meredith! I love how she straightens right back up too. people are so good at facades sometimes that you cant tell when they are breaking down.
hm.
but lina might be deranged and all but SHE IS SO GREAT I LOVE HER. I should be one of the Fans.
like, really.
Though I hope there isn't a lina part 7 hahaha. because THEY NEED TO GET TOGETHER ALREADY.
haha carrie and finn are so cute. I love that he's watching the OC with her. SIGH.
EE. HE KISSES HER. AMG WHAT. E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E. amazing.
okay. you NEED to put up the next chapter now. cliffhanger much?
WATCH ME NOT SIGN IN. because I'm all like, cool like that.
first thought: CALIFORNIAA HERE WE CO O O O O O O O O O ME
... re: your summary.
ahaha. okay, so I don't watch tv, and the way he's all like calling her "season" and stuff? I TOTALLY DO THAT. I mean, not that specific character, but yeah. I can never learn their names and stuff. even with shows I supposedly "like". I need to learn to watch TV better.
uh oh... what will carrie do?
poor meredith! I love how she straightens right back up too. people are so good at facades sometimes that you cant tell when they are breaking down.
hm.
but lina might be deranged and all but SHE IS SO GREAT I LOVE HER. I should be one of the Fans.
like, really.
Though I hope there isn't a lina part 7 hahaha. because THEY NEED TO GET TOGETHER ALREADY.
haha carrie and finn are so cute. I love that he's watching the OC with her. SIGH.
EE. HE KISSES HER. AMG WHAT. E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E. amazing.
okay. you NEED to put up the next chapter now. cliffhanger much?
10/18/2008 c6 3ForTheJokes
I did really like the first paragraph. And I am glad that we're getting Meredith's perspective on things, even if she is super crazy.
3ForTheJokesI did really like the first paragraph. And I am glad that we're getting Meredith's perspective on things, even if she is super crazy.
10/10/2008 c3 7CrimsonxShadows
This one is much better. I can follow this with much more ease. Very nice.
I think that you've pulled off the tense really well. I know I personally can't do present tense to save my life. It's consistent, and I know what you're saying.
Your dialogue is realistic, but I don't like the fact that there's so much of it. I, personally, hate when things are described to me so conveniently in a conversation when you could describe them much better in narration.
The plot is pretty agreeable. It's not cliche, as far as I've read.
Your grammar is nice. I don't think I noticed anything worth mentioning.
7CrimsonxShadowsThis one is much better. I can follow this with much more ease. Very nice.
I think that you've pulled off the tense really well. I know I personally can't do present tense to save my life. It's consistent, and I know what you're saying.
Your dialogue is realistic, but I don't like the fact that there's so much of it. I, personally, hate when things are described to me so conveniently in a conversation when you could describe them much better in narration.
The plot is pretty agreeable. It's not cliche, as far as I've read.
Your grammar is nice. I don't think I noticed anything worth mentioning.
10/8/2008 c5 4GrannyP
High schoolers are so complex. And so weird. Am I alone in thinking that? What is the motivation of anything? It has yet to make sense to me, and yet you portray it so accurately. Lina's mind works in mysterious ways and kudos to those who have to be around it.
Now I would like to fall asleep and wake up in a few years... Sleeping Beauty style or something. I'm so tired...
4GrannyPHigh schoolers are so complex. And so weird. Am I alone in thinking that? What is the motivation of anything? It has yet to make sense to me, and yet you portray it so accurately. Lina's mind works in mysterious ways and kudos to those who have to be around it.
Now I would like to fall asleep and wake up in a few years... Sleeping Beauty style or something. I'm so tired...
10/7/2008 c5 11vrivasfl
You do this all the time, and I'm really disappointed in you as a writer whenever you do it. I read this, and I think that this was a wonderfully written chapter with deep character true to their cores even as far back as the previous story, including new characters that expand on the already existing characters. Then you write an author's note that criticizes your own writings and your own characters.
If you admit that you don't like the way you wrote a certain character, it leads others to that same conclusion. The only problem is that it's hard to take some people out of that frame of mind. I really did like this chapter through and through, everything inclusive. Don't sell yourself short. That's myu advice here.
11vrivasflYou do this all the time, and I'm really disappointed in you as a writer whenever you do it. I read this, and I think that this was a wonderfully written chapter with deep character true to their cores even as far back as the previous story, including new characters that expand on the already existing characters. Then you write an author's note that criticizes your own writings and your own characters.
If you admit that you don't like the way you wrote a certain character, it leads others to that same conclusion. The only problem is that it's hard to take some people out of that frame of mind. I really did like this chapter through and through, everything inclusive. Don't sell yourself short. That's myu advice here.
10/6/2008 c5 3ForTheJokes
The Fans intrigue me. I want to know more of that backstory. Or the whole eighth grade thing. I like the way you work it into the rest of the story.
Please use HIMYM quotes as chapter titles. Or just have a character that says Barney-esque things all the time. And ohmygosh I just saw episode three.
3ForTheJokesThe Fans intrigue me. I want to know more of that backstory. Or the whole eighth grade thing. I like the way you work it into the rest of the story.
Please use HIMYM quotes as chapter titles. Or just have a character that says Barney-esque things all the time. And ohmygosh I just saw episode three.
10/6/2008 c5 8Written
HELLO MY LOVE. okay, that was a creepy greeting. so I've noticed that you seem to be having some troubled times, as far as I can tell from your LJ posts. hope things are okay soon. I usually write when I'm distressed, if that gives you any idea of how often I'm upset over stupid shit. for some reason, I can never write when I'm happy!
this chapter was excellent. I feel like I say this to you about everything you send me or everything of yours I read, but I really do think that you write in this wonderful, sort of deliberate way.
my favorite part, early on, is the small section where they wonder why they are called the Fans. I'm not sure why, but it's just like an aside and its cool.
the fans are excellent. sort of creepy, sort of hysterically funny. they seem like weird... robotic fans. I love when he ventures to say that he thought they disbanded a while back.
poor charlie. he seems so exhausted and frustrated.
I love love love when Lina is just like "fuck off guys. also I'm really badass."
and I like that she decides to go to lunch with them. YAY. that is so amazingly awesome. even though probably nothing will get resolved here. but still. it's sort of progress.
Hm... I think that's all I have to say for now. Maybe. okay, time for me to go to bed. I've spent all day slaving over my homework. UGH.
8WrittenHELLO MY LOVE. okay, that was a creepy greeting. so I've noticed that you seem to be having some troubled times, as far as I can tell from your LJ posts. hope things are okay soon. I usually write when I'm distressed, if that gives you any idea of how often I'm upset over stupid shit. for some reason, I can never write when I'm happy!
this chapter was excellent. I feel like I say this to you about everything you send me or everything of yours I read, but I really do think that you write in this wonderful, sort of deliberate way.
my favorite part, early on, is the small section where they wonder why they are called the Fans. I'm not sure why, but it's just like an aside and its cool.
the fans are excellent. sort of creepy, sort of hysterically funny. they seem like weird... robotic fans. I love when he ventures to say that he thought they disbanded a while back.
poor charlie. he seems so exhausted and frustrated.
I love love love when Lina is just like "fuck off guys. also I'm really badass."
and I like that she decides to go to lunch with them. YAY. that is so amazingly awesome. even though probably nothing will get resolved here. but still. it's sort of progress.
Hm... I think that's all I have to say for now. Maybe. okay, time for me to go to bed. I've spent all day slaving over my homework. UGH.
9/28/2008 c4 belle1220
So...
Anyway, stupid joke. Sorry.
Just discovered your stories. Read through Lina's story, and am totally loving Finn's pov. I think I actually enjoy reading about Charlie and Lina through Finn more then I did reading about them through Lina. Finn's seems to be more angsty and heartbreaking. Ugh, you almost killed me when Lina was crying at the garden party. Then chapter 4 with the return of Meredith - did not like that - at.all. Though I did love when Finn and Carrie yelled at Charlie. It's about time.
I'm not sure how long this is going to be, it's already longer then Lina's because of the longer chapters. I prefer longer chapters, but I'm guessing we're not going to get any finality between Charlie and Lina until the end of Charlie?
Here's hoping for a happy ending. Update soon :)
So...
Anyway, stupid joke. Sorry.
Just discovered your stories. Read through Lina's story, and am totally loving Finn's pov. I think I actually enjoy reading about Charlie and Lina through Finn more then I did reading about them through Lina. Finn's seems to be more angsty and heartbreaking. Ugh, you almost killed me when Lina was crying at the garden party. Then chapter 4 with the return of Meredith - did not like that - at.all. Though I did love when Finn and Carrie yelled at Charlie. It's about time.
I'm not sure how long this is going to be, it's already longer then Lina's because of the longer chapters. I prefer longer chapters, but I'm guessing we're not going to get any finality between Charlie and Lina until the end of Charlie?
Here's hoping for a happy ending. Update soon :)
9/20/2008 c4 11vrivasfl
I have the uncontrollable urge for hot chocolate and pizza right now. Maybe I should get some. It's about lunch time now and I still haven't eaten. Oh, that Forrester. Oh, that Carrie. Oh, that Finn. Oh, that Lina. Oh, that...well, Joe is actually the only normal person here, at least by my standard.
Carrie is insane, Lina is cold, Finn is pissed off, and Forrester is evasive. Put all that in a blender and things just keep getting better and better. Forrester honestly believes that he's not doing anything wrong. I beg to differ. Everyone begs to differ. I've been in a similar situation myself.
Joe is my favorite, but that's probably becuase I have an affinity for Digimon, so I always picture series one Joe in the position. I don't know if you know what I'm talking about, but I hope you do. It's a really good show.
Finally, it seems that Finn and Carrie have gotten through to Forrester. Now he's willing to talk, but Lina doesn't want to hear a word he has to say, not as long as he still has nice words for Meredith Gayner, I suppose. What kooky plan does the group have to remedy this situation. Stay tuned and find out!
And I will stay tuned. I have to find out.
11vrivasflI have the uncontrollable urge for hot chocolate and pizza right now. Maybe I should get some. It's about lunch time now and I still haven't eaten. Oh, that Forrester. Oh, that Carrie. Oh, that Finn. Oh, that Lina. Oh, that...well, Joe is actually the only normal person here, at least by my standard.
Carrie is insane, Lina is cold, Finn is pissed off, and Forrester is evasive. Put all that in a blender and things just keep getting better and better. Forrester honestly believes that he's not doing anything wrong. I beg to differ. Everyone begs to differ. I've been in a similar situation myself.
Joe is my favorite, but that's probably becuase I have an affinity for Digimon, so I always picture series one Joe in the position. I don't know if you know what I'm talking about, but I hope you do. It's a really good show.
Finally, it seems that Finn and Carrie have gotten through to Forrester. Now he's willing to talk, but Lina doesn't want to hear a word he has to say, not as long as he still has nice words for Meredith Gayner, I suppose. What kooky plan does the group have to remedy this situation. Stay tuned and find out!
And I will stay tuned. I have to find out.
9/20/2008 c4 3ForTheJokes
Hey, I did catch the eighth grade reference. I liked this chapter, though I did enjoy Carrie spilling hot chocolate everywhere last time.
P.S. I love Doctor Horrible. NPH is amazing and HIMYM is starting this week!
3ForTheJokesHey, I did catch the eighth grade reference. I liked this chapter, though I did enjoy Carrie spilling hot chocolate everywhere last time.
P.S. I love Doctor Horrible. NPH is amazing and HIMYM is starting this week!
9/16/2008 c4 4GrannyP
Okay, so,... I kind of don't like Charlie right now. Personally, I am thinking that Lina should just hook up with Finn. I mean, he's obviously the sweetheart here. And Lina and Charlie spend so much time angry at each other, I'm starting to have a hard time seeing why Lina liked Charlie to begin with!
But I know what's really going to happen. You see, Tommy is going to come back to life into the world of your story, but he won't be a demon anymore. He will be a regular guy. And HE will be the one to fall in love with Lina, and then they all live happily ever after. Yes, that's the way it has to be.
Perhaps I am just insane! Yes, that's more accurate!
but yeah, I wanted to slap Charlie for talking to Meredith! AAHH!
Well, nice update!
4GrannyPOkay, so,... I kind of don't like Charlie right now. Personally, I am thinking that Lina should just hook up with Finn. I mean, he's obviously the sweetheart here. And Lina and Charlie spend so much time angry at each other, I'm starting to have a hard time seeing why Lina liked Charlie to begin with!
But I know what's really going to happen. You see, Tommy is going to come back to life into the world of your story, but he won't be a demon anymore. He will be a regular guy. And HE will be the one to fall in love with Lina, and then they all live happily ever after. Yes, that's the way it has to be.
Perhaps I am just insane! Yes, that's more accurate!
but yeah, I wanted to slap Charlie for talking to Meredith! AAHH!
Well, nice update!