Just In
for Diary Of A Superhero

11/7/2012 c1 1Pilesthewarthog
There are some things you might want to consider:
-Description of the various friends.
-Diaries aren't really good story-telling tool. Try 3rd person perspective.
-Describe the area. If Headquarters is so neat, tell us what's so neat about it.

Until then,

Keep Writing!
11/6/2012 c1 Guest
This is terrible.
12/11/2011 c13 Kyuu Mikorina
I loved the storyline. As my friend would say every time there was a sex scene: "YAOI FOR THE WIN!" which was pretty much what I thought. The story was great, maybe you should write a sequel? *Sparkly, begging eyes*
8/8/2011 c13 Fumiki
Oh my god, this is so interesting!

At first, I was kinda "hmm, another superhero story..." but then on second chapter, I'm hooked and getting excited! I actually thought Nightghost was Jim XD But you're making him Sean, which is WAYY better! I have a thing for genius guy.. Don't ask lol. You should explain why Thinblade hate him, but nevermind. He's not that important LOL.

Overall, GREAT STORYY! Hope to read more from you soon!
3/6/2009 c13 1PhoenixFalls
I really enjoyed this story. I was so happy when Nightghost happened to be Sean. You should do a sequel.
3/2/2009 c13 3Akebono Mitsuhide
Okay... okay. I'm not normally a fan of Yaoi, but I'm trying to build up experience with superhero stories, so... ...So, okay. I've finished. Okay. *shiver*

Anyways, it was a good read. It was interesting to see how another author would handle a city with more than its fair share of heroes, and especially that of a new and upcoming team of rookies. I personally think that Cleo could have done better than "Butterfly" as far as names go, but with her role as the team's PR manager, I guess a butterfly would make for a better image.

I wondered at the writing style though. At times, it really suited the medium of a high schooler's diary with its simple language and innocent/eager tones, but at other times it seemed too... repetitive. No, rather, the tone of the style didn't suit some parts of the story (especially the epilogue... shouldn't Zack's writing style have matured if he's gone through college?). It's hard to describe exactly what, quite literally to me, "felt wrong", but it's there. Not that you need change the story or anything, just thought I'd put it out there.

Also, I wondered at your depiction of Zack and Sean getting on. Yes, getting a handjob from the one you love does feel ten times more special than the usual masturbation, but I'd think that that still wouldn't really qualify as "sex" to a healthy young man... It would simply become something like "mutual masturbation", except with more romantic overtones.

Blowjobs and Sodomy, on the other hand, DO qualify as sex for a teenager, which brings me to my next point: wouldn't either Sean or Zack be walking funny after doing one or the other up the butt? New and uncomfortable sensations and all that... And furthermore, as guys, there should have been SOMEthing regarding size comparison of their respective "tools." We men have our pride after all, even if we're with our loved ones.

Other than all that though, I really did enjoy this story. Hope you continue to do as well/have done as well with your other stories!
2/1/2009 c13 Language Lover
I think the story would have been a bit more realistic if you had put an arguement between Sean and Zack, but it was a pretty good story. Well thought out and everything.
9/22/2008 c13 1Rae Kitano
Fantastic. What a wonderful ending. I'm glad I found this story it was well worth the read :)
9/22/2008 c13 5TheLadyPendragon
I'm kind of disappointed-not that you did anything wrong-because the end seemed kind of anti-climactic. I expected many more chapters-I usually read stories with like twenty or thirty chapters-and I dunno...but it was still a cute story altogether. I can't wait for more from you. Maybe the next should be a vampire story...I love me some vamps. :D I've read two of your other stories too-the Doggy one and the Dragon one-and they were really cute-especially the dragon one. Maybe you could read some of my stuff? I still suck-NooB-but I'd like input.

I'm gonna miss this story. It's the only one that updated regularly. D': Sniffles
9/16/2008 c12 TheLadyPendragon
XDD Thinblade is handsome! I half expected that, but I didn't like him so much because he was so mean to Thunderskin. I keep feeling like he either has a crush on Thunderskin(like small boys who bully the girl they like so they can get attention) or he likes Nightghost because he seems to be a bit protective of him(though it could just be another way to antagonize Thunderskin) I wonder about something though...who's more submissive between Zack/Sean? I always pictured it to be Zack since he's the bouncy uke type, but I got the impression that it was Sean during the chapter. Not that it matters, them being superheroes and all. Ah well...great chapter, as usual.
9/15/2008 c12 1Rae Kitano
Fantasic chapter. So Thinblades a bit of a looker. Hope he doesn't cause any jealousy between the boys. :)
9/8/2008 c11 5TheLadyPendragon
Aww, I loved the part where Sean worriedly almost-touched Zack's recently healed cheek. It was so sweet.

I also liked the story with the CEO. It was cute how much he cared about his sons.

I also, also(makes no sense, I know)liked the 3-D geometry thing. What Zack says makes sense. How can you draw something 3-D on 2-D paper? lol And Sean's reaction was cute, too.
9/1/2008 c10 TheLadyPendragon
I love that first scene in the hospital.

'You said you love me'

'Of course I love you! Why do you think I'm dating you?'

XDD Can't wait 'till next week.
8/25/2008 c9 1Rae Kitano
Wow! that ending came from no where. I needed to read more... soon, please.

Well done this story has real style, I'm so enjoying it.
8/25/2008 c9 5TheLadyPendragon
Oh no! Poor Nightghost. Poor Thunderskin. I feel so bad for them, though I think that Nightghost will probably be okay. He is a fighter, after all, and fighters, especially of the superhero variety, don't give up very easily. Especially if they have worried boyfriends waiting. ;P
27 Page 1 2 Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service