for Lunch with Mimes5/11/2009 c1 
1little-red-bag
Wonderful piece of descriptive writing; it is very well written. One thing I did not get though: if he was innocent then why was he trying to delay the confrontation?
1little-red-bagWonderful piece of descriptive writing; it is very well written. One thing I did not get though: if he was innocent then why was he trying to delay the confrontation?
1/28/2009 c1 18Chiclets
This IS written pretty well, and I've skimmed over some of your other pieces as well. You are a good writer, and I enjoyed this. The flow was smooth, nothing was taken away from it with the lack of dialogue, and it seems a good length.
18ChicletsThis IS written pretty well, and I've skimmed over some of your other pieces as well. You are a good writer, and I enjoyed this. The flow was smooth, nothing was taken away from it with the lack of dialogue, and it seems a good length.
11/9/2008 c1 crashendingx
Confusing, but well written. You could definitely feel the tension. It has a nostalgic, wise third party outsider feel that I adore.
Confusing, but well written. You could definitely feel the tension. It has a nostalgic, wise third party outsider feel that I adore.
11/3/2008 c1 Ginnie
I really enjoyed this story, and how you heaped so much meaning into it.
I really enjoyed this story, and how you heaped so much meaning into it.
9/17/2008 c1 13blurrylights
This also had so much emotion in it...I want to cry again, like I did with you story Don't Make A Scene. Gosh...how many times do you want to make me cry? :) I loved that they were giving it another shot...Great job!
13blurrylightsThis also had so much emotion in it...I want to cry again, like I did with you story Don't Make A Scene. Gosh...how many times do you want to make me cry? :) I loved that they were giving it another shot...Great job!
8/30/2008 c1 cha-ching
subtle and sweet. I liked it :)
subtle and sweet. I liked it :)
8/9/2008 c1 Boo
yes, the story did turn out rather well!great idea, one-shot turned out to be very refreshing;)
yes, the story did turn out rather well!great idea, one-shot turned out to be very refreshing;)
8/4/2008 c1 11Devin-Jamie
Oh, descriptive writing. If you can't tell, I try to make all of my reviews sound a bit different. No just "good job, nice writing"...it doesn't work out so well. I still sound repetetive. Oh well.
I'm a sucker for happy endings, and I'm glad that she slipped the necklace back on and I absolutely love how you used those two lines of dialogue to end it, but there's something about the ending that I can't quite point out correctly. I think it's that the last few paragraphs before the ending dialogue seem a bit rushed. Not extremely rushed, just crap!-I-can-only-write-half-a-page-more kind of rushed. Maybe it also seemed rushed because, had she thought he cheated, it shouldn't have ended so smoothly over a simple something someone at another table said. That's probably how I'd've choosen to end it, but you're far more talented than I am, so it gives off a so-so vibe. But, at the same time, it's kind of perfect...
I'm no good at getting my thoughts straightened out in a review- they never seem right to me. I should probably just start going along with the typical, expected reviews. Blah.
I really really like this story.
11Devin-JamieOh, descriptive writing. If you can't tell, I try to make all of my reviews sound a bit different. No just "good job, nice writing"...it doesn't work out so well. I still sound repetetive. Oh well.
I'm a sucker for happy endings, and I'm glad that she slipped the necklace back on and I absolutely love how you used those two lines of dialogue to end it, but there's something about the ending that I can't quite point out correctly. I think it's that the last few paragraphs before the ending dialogue seem a bit rushed. Not extremely rushed, just crap!-I-can-only-write-half-a-page-more kind of rushed. Maybe it also seemed rushed because, had she thought he cheated, it shouldn't have ended so smoothly over a simple something someone at another table said. That's probably how I'd've choosen to end it, but you're far more talented than I am, so it gives off a so-so vibe. But, at the same time, it's kind of perfect...
I'm no good at getting my thoughts straightened out in a review- they never seem right to me. I should probably just start going along with the typical, expected reviews. Blah.
I really really like this story.