for Summer Sunscreen3/19/2009 c1 
3PaperDart
I like the suggestion of symbolism in this piece; she's been burnt by the sun, but she's been burnt by her illicit romance too. Neither of them will do any lasting damage though, by the looks of things.
There's a slight ambiguity (ambivalence?) as to whose number she dials first, which I think adds to the atmosphere of the story: we're left wondering quite how badly she was 'burnt'.
If I were to change something about this story, I would take some of the context out of the first scene. In my opinion, this story works so well because we only see the poignant details. There are a few superfluities early in the story, although you tighten up considerably towards the end.
All in all, this was an interesting read.
Happy writing,
Charli
3PaperDartI like the suggestion of symbolism in this piece; she's been burnt by the sun, but she's been burnt by her illicit romance too. Neither of them will do any lasting damage though, by the looks of things.
There's a slight ambiguity (ambivalence?) as to whose number she dials first, which I think adds to the atmosphere of the story: we're left wondering quite how badly she was 'burnt'.
If I were to change something about this story, I would take some of the context out of the first scene. In my opinion, this story works so well because we only see the poignant details. There are a few superfluities early in the story, although you tighten up considerably towards the end.
All in all, this was an interesting read.
Happy writing,
Charli
7/29/2008 c1 Bazooka Joy
Haha as harsh as this is, it's fairly common. Happens all the time unfortunately. But as long as she didn't hurt James to his face. I'm glad she'll just leave him wondering. Nicely written.
Haha as harsh as this is, it's fairly common. Happens all the time unfortunately. But as long as she didn't hurt James to his face. I'm glad she'll just leave him wondering. Nicely written.
7/3/2008 c1 2RaindropShingles
Good start
a couple of typo's (I suggest proofreading, i know its a pain, it took me ages to get myself to do it)
2RaindropShinglesGood start
a couple of typo's (I suggest proofreading, i know its a pain, it took me ages to get myself to do it)