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7/8/2008 c1 8Souls-and-Turkey-Cafe
heheh, cue. i love that last line... and a very interesting character you have there too...
7/6/2008 c1 5Elodie West
... XD I *love* "Dust on the Wind".

Anyway... good job. There were a couple parts here and there where dialogue seemed a mite shoddy, or the character seemed to internally ramble a bit much, but other than that... good. Very nice.

I really appreciate that you went above and beyond with this vampire story, instead of "man and woman in city. Man vampire. Woman not. Have lots of sex. the end". Urg- I hate that most. But, you actually wrote something that leaves *me* curious. I honestly *do* want to see how he gets out of this. Wonderful job. Work on realistic dialogue and try not to ramble too much in internal dialogue.

One more note- I really like how consistant the character is. :D Very nice.

~Aermis

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