for Shy Girl Turned Bold11/21/2009 c1 WutNow
Hello! I wanted to thank you so much for reviewing my work! Usually I review other people's work and wait for them to reply to me, so I'm a little surprised when it's the other way around! Anyway, enough about me, not it's time to get to your story!
First of all, I'm mad at you. Why is this a one shot? LoL. I'm not used to reading one-shots because I hate the story ending so fast. However, I liked how you placed the character at the turning point of her life, which is 18. I promised I would pop out of my shell too when I turned 18, but it didn't happen. i'm still in my shell lol. I knew exactly how she felt, and I liked how your character is so relatable.
I was kind of shocked when she dressed like that though. Didn't she realize that the way she was dressing WASN'T the real her? She puts on this image that isn't genuine, but an image that pleases the opposite sex. And as a guy, he took advantage of her. Then again, she wanted that.. right? LoL. Overall, I thought you did famously!
Here's one thing you can tweak though:
"...but here I am one week later, sitting in my room and looking at the calendar"- you forgot to put a period at the end haha.
Thank you for the kind review. I'll love ya forever!
-Agent
Hello! I wanted to thank you so much for reviewing my work! Usually I review other people's work and wait for them to reply to me, so I'm a little surprised when it's the other way around! Anyway, enough about me, not it's time to get to your story!
First of all, I'm mad at you. Why is this a one shot? LoL. I'm not used to reading one-shots because I hate the story ending so fast. However, I liked how you placed the character at the turning point of her life, which is 18. I promised I would pop out of my shell too when I turned 18, but it didn't happen. i'm still in my shell lol. I knew exactly how she felt, and I liked how your character is so relatable.
I was kind of shocked when she dressed like that though. Didn't she realize that the way she was dressing WASN'T the real her? She puts on this image that isn't genuine, but an image that pleases the opposite sex. And as a guy, he took advantage of her. Then again, she wanted that.. right? LoL. Overall, I thought you did famously!
Here's one thing you can tweak though:
"...but here I am one week later, sitting in my room and looking at the calendar"- you forgot to put a period at the end haha.
Thank you for the kind review. I'll love ya forever!
-Agent
7/24/2008 c1 
24InspirASIAN
enjoyable read. im hoping this isnt a one-shotter due to the fact itd be an amusing story and im already looking forward to read about their date
nonetheless great job
24InspirASIANenjoyable read. im hoping this isnt a one-shotter due to the fact itd be an amusing story and im already looking forward to read about their date
nonetheless great job
7/13/2008 c1 6mariakay
That was adorable! Short, simple, and sweet. Loved how you didn't put the main character in the party, where most stories take thier shy mc into a party, you took them to the mall. It was different and the rambling was adorable. Nice one shot and no it didn't bore me.
6mariakayThat was adorable! Short, simple, and sweet. Loved how you didn't put the main character in the party, where most stories take thier shy mc into a party, you took them to the mall. It was different and the rambling was adorable. Nice one shot and no it didn't bore me.
7/7/2008 c1 4madebeautiful
Well, it wasn't bad and it certainly was enteraining but it was not very believable. Making out with random guys doesn't usaully happen. Overall I like it. She certainly did turn bold.
4madebeautifulWell, it wasn't bad and it certainly was enteraining but it was not very believable. Making out with random guys doesn't usaully happen. Overall I like it. She certainly did turn bold.
7/7/2008 c1 Noie
Great job! I totally enjoyed it and think you did a great job. One of my pet peeves is spelling, etc mistakes and you had none of those! I'd love to see a follow-up!
Great job! I totally enjoyed it and think you did a great job. One of my pet peeves is spelling, etc mistakes and you had none of those! I'd love to see a follow-up!