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8/28/2008 c1 bipedalcooney
Like I told in my message, I'm not a fan of rhyming. But really, you've made it sound great here! Awesome rhythm, and the flow is smooth. Keep writing, I like your style!
8/21/2008 c1 fleur de l'est
Yaay, lovely twist at the end.

A good stream-of-consciousness type thing in the first stanza, a bit like a brainstorm where each term creates a mental image, my favourite was "your body charred". I liked your choice of vocabulary, simple and terse, and cunning use of the second person :D The only negative thing I would say is that some of the rhymes seem forced, but that doesn't alter the great meaning conveyed by this poem. Well done!

~fleur
7/8/2008 c1 332smile for the sunshine
interesting. listen to "the fight" by the classic crime. that's the song that i listen to when thinking about spiritual warfare or before i'm going into "battle" in a sense. good work, though. keep writing! :]

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