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for Libra

10/25/2008 c14 1HighPixelPriestess
I enjoyed the latest chapter - where do you get your inspiration from? I'd love to give you a completely well-rounded review with advice & constructive feedback, and I did try. Problem is that I'm terrible at reviews. I just know that it makes people feel appreciated & that everyone loves reviews. Because I love your story, I review it :P

I like Qarcil & 'getting to know him'. I feel the need to know more! more more more! Ahem...

Anyway, I can only sing praises. Your story is pretty awesome :)

Take care
10/24/2008 c13 HighPixelPriestess
Whef! I spent the last couple of nights eating this up :) I really did enjoy it, thank you. You've drawn me in now, so I'm going to be coming back when you update :) It's well written, congrats.
10/4/2008 c5 1Will Seaver
Ye gods this chapter was re-written about ten times. This self-review is to let people know that everything up to this point has been amended in terms of consistency and whatnot. I appreciate everyones reviews, really, and things are gonna keep going for a while. Chapter 6 and the rest are next for updates.
9/30/2008 c9 1Carindel
Excellent. I really like the contrast with Altiez' arrogance from the last chapter, as well as the mystery behind our heroes' knowledge of his identity. Kidnapping Lynn is guaranteed to add to the tension and suspense, and I look forward to see what you do with it in subsequent chapters. My only issue is that, if she could be taken so easily, the assassin didn't just kill Isang straight out. Perhaps Altiez wants to bargain with him, but that contrasts with the "I will take everything you love" line. A little too contrived, perhaps, but it was still well done even for that. Beyond that, bravo!
9/29/2008 c8 Kristopher
I would like to take a moment to complement your work. I've read the current eight chapters of Libra and must say I've been captivated. You have a real descriptive talent for characters and their actions, I am most impressed.

I patiently await your next chapter.
9/26/2008 c8 1teknikalitiez
7/26/2008 c2 14Skylark1
Review game!

I actually read up to Chapter 2 of this yesterday, as it so happens.

Well, I think this story is about average, really. There were a couple of big things I didn't like about it - the main one being that nobody listens to Isang, and people die because of it. The sages in particular. This is something I often see in amateur fiction, and it really bugs me because *they don't learn*. If the sages don't have the skill to defeat demons, then, you know, I doubt they'd be attempting to. And if someone who obviously *does* know about demons - and is accepting an *award* for knowing about demons - tells them not to do something, you would think they wouldn't do it. I'm assuming they didn't come to be sages because they were idiots. I really didn't like the way you just made them look stupid and then killed them off. Furthermore, it's hard to feel any sympathy for anyone involved in the whole thing, because the sages don't seem realistic enough to really care about them. I see it (in general, not your story in particular) as being a very obvious plot device being set up for the sole purpose of showing off the powers of the main character, and that's really annoying, because minor characters deserve more respect than that. Okay, rant is over now.

What I liked about this story was the idea of the demons. Demons are always really interesting (when they're not being turned into fangirl fantasies, anyway), and I love the idea of them being able to pick up on magical power and the name of a sage. That power alone would make them formidable villains indeed. Just imagine if they banded into a group and went after the heroes together! I think it has a lot of potential, and I suspect it's where the really interesting bits of this story lie. I'd love to see more of the demons and hear more about their powers of information interception. :)
7/23/2008 c3 1Carindel
No real complaints about this chapter except, as mentioned, think carefully about your dialogue to see what fits in character and what doesn't. Your cliffhanger was too short to be really effective, although it's suspenseful and therefore meets its purpose. Adding a little more vivid dialogue to it would really allow it to pack a punch and keep the reader on edge. Nice job, get chap4 up soon.
7/19/2008 c1 Counting Petals
Review Marathon! (If this is completely foreign to you, there's a link and an explanation on my profile.)

Ooh, nice cliffhanger at the end. Now we have to keep reading to see what he's going to do with this demon, and what the demon's going to do to the people. I also really liked your prose in general; it flowed really well and you used your words well to show us what was going on.
7/19/2008 c3 S.C. Riley
Two good installments; I'm eagerly awaiting more. I will say, though, that some of the dialogue (particularly Vingrun's) seemed a bit... oh, how do I put it... planned out. It seemed as if you INTENDED him (and others) to say some of the things he (they) said. I don't know exactly how to help you mend this, so this review isn't very helpful, apologies. I'd recommend just reading all your dialogue aloud and seeing what sounds natural and what doesn't.

Keep up the hard work!

7/17/2008 c2 2Sarthim
Good chapter as expected, keep up the good work. Nice field of depth you added to Isang by the way, so we know his different reactions to scenarios.
7/16/2008 c2 1Will Seaver
"why does Mange switch from speaking brokenly to speaking clearly and confidently?"

This has been fixed. Thanks for all of the feedback, everyone!
7/16/2008 c2 1Carindel
I'm impressed; Chapter 2 certainly lived up to expectations. An excellent blend of excitement and further suspense, and your combat scenes are vivid and gripping. I really liked the description of Mange and of his fear effect, and of the mantra that Isang used, although it's a little confusing without any explanation or context. Two other minor things: why does Mange (who seems like he had potential for a good recurring character) switch from speaking brokenly to speaking clearly and confidently? And how does Lynn manage to vanquish a demon that these unexplained "sages" and a demonologist couldn't handle? At some point it would be good to know exactly who we're dealing with. The conclusion leaves us hungry for more. Great job, I am looking forward to the next chapter soon!
7/15/2008 c1 Carindel
This is excellent, simply put. It seems that you know your characters well; they are comfortable in their assigned roles and they cause the story to flow easily. Be careful over-simplifying Isang; he has the makings of a complex character and it would be a shame to categorize him as bitter, jaded, etc. too early. I am really interested to see where this story will go. Good job!
7/14/2008 c1 2Sarthim
Entertaining characters that are well-written with an interesting plot subject and a good narrative to combine...this means that I enjoyed this chapter very much and I am looking towards foward installments.
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