for Talented at Denial4/14/2009 c1 
1Reasons Unknown
I don't know exactly what it is about this peice...but it makes me smile... I like it a lot... :D
1Reasons UnknownI don't know exactly what it is about this peice...but it makes me smile... I like it a lot... :D
4/13/2009 c1 Aqua-eagle Sunshine
I think you get the emotion across really well in certain parts...mostly after she read whats in the yearbook and she's running, "and when we came to a fork in the path I knew that the last image I would have of him was him running away," i really felt this line. I wanted him to turn around and run back. You flick through events never really describing them...more showing progress and emotion...it think this works. The last line though was confusing...i only realised after reading your A/n note. Hope this was helpful.
I think you get the emotion across really well in certain parts...mostly after she read whats in the yearbook and she's running, "and when we came to a fork in the path I knew that the last image I would have of him was him running away," i really felt this line. I wanted him to turn around and run back. You flick through events never really describing them...more showing progress and emotion...it think this works. The last line though was confusing...i only realised after reading your A/n note. Hope this was helpful.
3/30/2009 c1 Left FP
This is the most beautiful piece I have come across recently. I like the fact you didn't mention the protagonists' name as it lent a mysterious note to the whole story.
It was sweet, and it got sad in the middle. There is a sense of intrigue since Peter makes his entry.
The flow was good and I could actually see these little scenes taking place before my eyes.
Nothing seemed forced. Really brilliant piece of work.
~ Misty Elizabeth
This is the most beautiful piece I have come across recently. I like the fact you didn't mention the protagonists' name as it lent a mysterious note to the whole story.
It was sweet, and it got sad in the middle. There is a sense of intrigue since Peter makes his entry.
The flow was good and I could actually see these little scenes taking place before my eyes.
Nothing seemed forced. Really brilliant piece of work.
~ Misty Elizabeth
3/28/2009 c1 20Thousand Writer
Review Game =)
Lovely piece of work. I liked how natural this story felt. The words and flow made this seem like I had access to someone else's a fond memory. It made me understand her joys and pain with this guy.
Also, I like the fact no names were presented. That made the piece much more personal because the reader can put themselves in the shoes of the narrator.
And the ending, I loved most of all. It reflected the beginning and how the whole story went full circle. Only, this time, she clapped for the great memories he gave her, and how much he deserved some praise.
If you have more work like this, please let me know lol. All in all, Keep up the quality work =)
20Thousand WriterReview Game =)
Lovely piece of work. I liked how natural this story felt. The words and flow made this seem like I had access to someone else's a fond memory. It made me understand her joys and pain with this guy.
Also, I like the fact no names were presented. That made the piece much more personal because the reader can put themselves in the shoes of the narrator.
And the ending, I loved most of all. It reflected the beginning and how the whole story went full circle. Only, this time, she clapped for the great memories he gave her, and how much he deserved some praise.
If you have more work like this, please let me know lol. All in all, Keep up the quality work =)
1/4/2009 c1 21threm
i was like... DAMN.
need i say more?
keep up the good work.
im a fan.!
-threm. :)
21thremi was like... DAMN.
need i say more?
keep up the good work.
im a fan.!
-threm. :)
1/3/2009 c1 17daughterofmusic
My emotions, as I read:
:) ... :( ... *stupid Peter people!* ... *the last run* :(
And then...
The end. :) :) :) :)
17daughterofmusicMy emotions, as I read:
:) ... :( ... *stupid Peter people!* ... *the last run* :(
And then...
The end. :) :) :) :)
12/28/2008 c1 1designer-words
In parts it made me want to cry such as when he only wrote two words. I actually believed that was the end you know? That was one of the parts I liked too though because I sat there willing for him to come back! You are right, it is cute it some places.
I also like the fact that your main characters don't have names, it makes it seem more general and sounds more like it could happen to everyone and anything, like a fairy tale! The no names bit I really liked.
I would say it could have more description in places, but it also reminds me of someones diary for some reason? So in that case I think it's okay how it is. Depends on how you see it really.
I don't like the last line too much because it seems like she likes him and the whole story starts again. But looking at it another way you can tell it wouldn't, well you can't tell because we never actually know whether the voice behind her was actually 'him'.
That is so frustrating! I just want to know whether that voice was him and whether they had a happy ending!
I actually really liked this story and don't agree with you when you say 'it's really crappy'!
1designer-wordsIn parts it made me want to cry such as when he only wrote two words. I actually believed that was the end you know? That was one of the parts I liked too though because I sat there willing for him to come back! You are right, it is cute it some places.
I also like the fact that your main characters don't have names, it makes it seem more general and sounds more like it could happen to everyone and anything, like a fairy tale! The no names bit I really liked.
I would say it could have more description in places, but it also reminds me of someones diary for some reason? So in that case I think it's okay how it is. Depends on how you see it really.
I don't like the last line too much because it seems like she likes him and the whole story starts again. But looking at it another way you can tell it wouldn't, well you can't tell because we never actually know whether the voice behind her was actually 'him'.
That is so frustrating! I just want to know whether that voice was him and whether they had a happy ending!
I actually really liked this story and don't agree with you when you say 'it's really crappy'!
12/20/2008 c1 7gulistala
Aw so sweet! I like how the ending is quite different from other fluffy one-shots. Great job!
7gulistalaAw so sweet! I like how the ending is quite different from other fluffy one-shots. Great job!
12/17/2008 c1 2lovenucks
This makes me want to applaud lol
I really did enjoy this, a lot I can't even explain how much
You are so good, makes me wish I was as good as you
Just wonderful =]
2lovenucksThis makes me want to applaud lol
I really did enjoy this, a lot I can't even explain how much
You are so good, makes me wish I was as good as you
Just wonderful =]
12/10/2008 c1 2cbprice25
That was adorable. The last line wasn't too ambiguous, I think. I still wish there was a little more, a epilogue-esque end for the story, but how you've had it is fitting. I enjoyed it.
2cbprice25That was adorable. The last line wasn't too ambiguous, I think. I still wish there was a little more, a epilogue-esque end for the story, but how you've had it is fitting. I enjoyed it.
11/8/2008 c1 hannah
i really liked this, cliche it may be. it was cute and sweet and kept me interested all the way through. way to go! *hi5*
i really liked this, cliche it may be. it was cute and sweet and kept me interested all the way through. way to go! *hi5*
10/26/2008 c1 18found.eventually
I liked the ending.
No, wait. I loved the ending.
It came as a surprise for me, and everything just pulled together (I was wondering what happened to the competition in the beginning, because it wasn't really related -much- to the story. At first.)
But aw. That was great. Great job love!
18found.eventuallyI liked the ending.
No, wait. I loved the ending.
It came as a surprise for me, and everything just pulled together (I was wondering what happened to the competition in the beginning, because it wasn't really related -much- to the story. At first.)
But aw. That was great. Great job love!