for Still Life1/2/2009 c1 
28mikey magee
For the Review Two forum
The first thing I noticed, (and loved) was your use of imagery. It was great! I could really get a feel for the room and the house Marie lived in. You did have a few grammar mistakes though, like in the opening paragraphs. "subscriptions was cancelled" "was" should be "were"
Though, while the descriptions were nice, some of them were a bit of a distraction. I would suggest you get rid of some of descriptions to make the pacing go a little bit faster. Best of luck! Keep writing!
28mikey mageeFor the Review Two forum
The first thing I noticed, (and loved) was your use of imagery. It was great! I could really get a feel for the room and the house Marie lived in. You did have a few grammar mistakes though, like in the opening paragraphs. "subscriptions was cancelled" "was" should be "were"
Though, while the descriptions were nice, some of them were a bit of a distraction. I would suggest you get rid of some of descriptions to make the pacing go a little bit faster. Best of luck! Keep writing!