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7/22/2008 c1 2Tetelestai
Your storyline is really good, and the ending pleasantly surprising. Well maybe not pleasantly, but I liked it. :)

However, I do have a few suggestions for you. If you want continuity, don't bring yourself into the story. Knowing that you judge guys by the jeans they wear and their shoes isn't helpful to the story. I can understand describing Charm's physical features, but I thought it was a bit much with the "oh-so-amazing-biceps" and "six pack abs owner".

Again, I liked the idea of the story, very original. Keep writing!
7/21/2008 c1 12Lilly Wattenberg
Umm...this isn't something i would normal read. i liked parts but others...anyway keep writing!
7/19/2008 c1 26akusma
Hey, this is really good. It's really meaningful and indepth. As always your ending is fantastic.
7/17/2008 c1 the wicked monkey


look, Im sorry, I couldn't read through the entire thing.

should break up the bultky paragaphs, and make it flow more. Don't switch fromm story mode to a first person that also breaks up the flow.

the bigger the paragraphs are the harder it is to read.

you might want to edit this a little.

good luck

-the wicked monkey
7/17/2008 c1 8Autumn's Last Curse
Your stories are very original in content, the plot is always full of surprises. The endings are always con Disney-happily-ever-after, which I personally like. The grammar, however, makes it hard to follow, though since English is possibly your second language, that is something you've got time to work on. Your descriptions of people are a little extensive (clothes they wear, facial details, etc), I would just stick to the basics, what's important, and let people's imaginations pick up afterwards. Other than that, great story line, good content!
7/17/2008 c1 Green Eyed Angel
OH NO! YOU INSULTED LORD VOLDEMORT! HOW COULD YOU? YOU CANNOT INSULT EVIL PEOPLE! just kidding :D. Great story, but Charm going insane was not good. I like happy endings. And crazy charm = not happy me. Because he did seem nice... Oh well. Great story. I still have no idea how you can fall in love through the net though.
7/16/2008 c1 105The Exuberant
7/16/2008 c1 2The Jet Black Hotel Mirror
Well, the only thing offensive about this story is not even the story itself but the author's note that follows. How could you "ardently admire" a man who ordered the termination of thousands of innocent people? Seriously, I don't understand you...
7/16/2008 c1 12kawiivampiregirl30240
This was pretty good. A little confusng to me at times, but other than that, it was good. ^_^
7/16/2008 c1 Carus
Um your story was...controversial? With the Hitler stuff. I reckon a lot of people would get upset 'cos you were sort of making fun of WW2 and all of the people who lost their lives. Apart from that though there were some funny parts.
7/16/2008 c1 91MyWorldisBlack
wow, another amazing story!

you write very well!

and your caracters are great as well!

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