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7/17/2008 c1 59Kikyuu
I like the repetition of "And just like that it's over/finished/you're missing/we're mourning" which helps to tie the poem together. My favourite line is "And just like that we're mourning", although I'm not sure that you intended for it to be included in the third stanza.

The line "Hope is hard to conceive" is a little awkwardly phrased, and it's one of the few rhyming lines that stick out for me. The rest of the poem flows fairly well, and your subject is one that touches on something most people have experienced. Nice work on this.

Kikyuu, from The Roadhouse (Check out the link in my profile)
7/16/2008 c1 4Jinxed Orangutan
AMAZING... sad n emotional. don't write such poems. i end up crying and feeling bad for the family members. Its so tough to cope up with the death of luvd ones

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