for Torture1/31/2010 c1 
6Crazy.Phase1
I really enjoyed this. I'm not one for poetry (mostly because mine comes out sounding like I'm an emo kid) but this was extremely well written. I particularly liked the singsong rhyme despite the profound subject. Very nicely done!
~Rachael
6Crazy.Phase1I really enjoyed this. I'm not one for poetry (mostly because mine comes out sounding like I'm an emo kid) but this was extremely well written. I particularly liked the singsong rhyme despite the profound subject. Very nicely done!
~Rachael
12/29/2008 c1 24fairies and snapple
Hm. The other sad poem was better (FYI, I hope you feel, you know, happier and all now and it was just a passing thing). This one is a little... Well, the no caps definitely works, and the last line is a good ending (you're very good at endings), but most of it is... overdone, I guess. It's not specific, but just these generalizations of pain that many teens all across the world use, and I don't totally get what you're saying about lies.
24fairies and snappleHm. The other sad poem was better (FYI, I hope you feel, you know, happier and all now and it was just a passing thing). This one is a little... Well, the no caps definitely works, and the last line is a good ending (you're very good at endings), but most of it is... overdone, I guess. It's not specific, but just these generalizations of pain that many teens all across the world use, and I don't totally get what you're saying about lies.
11/13/2008 c1 65noebody
well-written you really get a sense of your betrayal and pain from this.. it really conveys your emotions well.
65noebodywell-written you really get a sense of your betrayal and pain from this.. it really conveys your emotions well.
9/4/2008 c1 612simpleplan13
Interesting piece because of the juxtaposition here with the tone of the piece and the subject matter. The rhyming is interesting, it works well and I also like the relateablilty of the piece, something we've all been through.
612simpleplan13Interesting piece because of the juxtaposition here with the tone of the piece and the subject matter. The rhyming is interesting, it works well and I also like the relateablilty of the piece, something we've all been through.
8/28/2008 c1 19Kyllorac
Freebie review courtesy Frac.
I really liked the rhythm and rhyme. Both work together so very well and give this piece a very nice chiming, song-like quality.
I would suggest playing around with the formatting a tad. "lies...lives" could be one stanza "while pain!...vain" could be another one. This would improve upon the overall feel of the poem by giving it a bit more structure.
19KylloracFreebie review courtesy Frac.
I really liked the rhythm and rhyme. Both work together so very well and give this piece a very nice chiming, song-like quality.
I would suggest playing around with the formatting a tad. "lies...lives" could be one stanza "while pain!...vain" could be another one. This would improve upon the overall feel of the poem by giving it a bit more structure.
8/24/2008 c1 23fatbird33
hey, this poem was written on my birthday! i'm sorry you were having a bad day.
i liked the rhythum(sp?) of this poem. intense.
23fatbird33hey, this poem was written on my birthday! i'm sorry you were having a bad day.
i liked the rhythum(sp?) of this poem. intense.
8/14/2008 c1 2dragonflydreamer
This has a great rhythm to it, which can rarely be said for a lot of the poems around this site, so this was refreshing to read. As your first reviewer said, the lines with the double nouns and expclaimation point were. It's a rather unique style, and you put it to wonderful use.
I usually reccomend full punctuation in poetry, especially when there's only partial punctuation like this, but of course that's complerely up to you.
Great work, Bubbles!
2dragonflydreamerThis has a great rhythm to it, which can rarely be said for a lot of the poems around this site, so this was refreshing to read. As your first reviewer said, the lines with the double nouns and expclaimation point were. It's a rather unique style, and you put it to wonderful use.
I usually reccomend full punctuation in poetry, especially when there's only partial punctuation like this, but of course that's complerely up to you.
Great work, Bubbles!
8/11/2008 c1 Guest
I have to say this gets me a little intrigued :) It's a rather balanced two-piece poem. It has a speedy, steady, catchy rythm. I like the way you used twice each of the abstract nouns with exclamation marks to emphasize the strong feelings, then the comparisons.
A very nice point of view about rather dark things, such as lies and pain :d
You know, I think this would work well in a song, it's great.
Well done!
I have to say this gets me a little intrigued :) It's a rather balanced two-piece poem. It has a speedy, steady, catchy rythm. I like the way you used twice each of the abstract nouns with exclamation marks to emphasize the strong feelings, then the comparisons.
A very nice point of view about rather dark things, such as lies and pain :d
You know, I think this would work well in a song, it's great.
Well done!