for The Mysterious Knock11/15/2008 c1 
8sakuratears19
Interesting beginning but the way it's written is extremely confusing. The switching of persons is confusing and it could have been laid out clearer. Pretty good, just needs work.
8sakuratears19Interesting beginning but the way it's written is extremely confusing. The switching of persons is confusing and it could have been laid out clearer. Pretty good, just needs work.
7/30/2008 c1 3Angelica.Eddings
You used a good balance of description and dialogue, but it feels as if this chapter is unfinished. Also, you should avoid switching from first person to third person. There are also a few typos written throughout the story. If you fix these, then I'm sure a lot of people will enjoy reading this. Good luck!
3Angelica.EddingsYou used a good balance of description and dialogue, but it feels as if this chapter is unfinished. Also, you should avoid switching from first person to third person. There are also a few typos written throughout the story. If you fix these, then I'm sure a lot of people will enjoy reading this. Good luck!