3/16/2009 c13 angie
well done great chapter.update quicker if you can thanks.ben did come over more likeable,loveable in this chapter
well done great chapter.update quicker if you can thanks.ben did come over more likeable,loveable in this chapter
3/16/2009 c13 Jezebel Montgomery
I think it's working. If anyone is questioning the legitimacy of their relationship, I think the blame lies in Karen's inability to open up or trust; not in Ben's character. Keep up the good work.
-Jez
I think it's working. If anyone is questioning the legitimacy of their relationship, I think the blame lies in Karen's inability to open up or trust; not in Ben's character. Keep up the good work.
-Jez
3/3/2009 c12 shvesta
OMG! I love it so far, BUT, I think the story would be better if you lay off the romance a little bit and focus a little more on the story. Sometimes you skip scenes that I want to read about, and include scenes that are just repeating over and over. No I am not bothered by the lemon, but I think, maybe without realizing it, you made Ben seem kinda player-ish and just out for her body. Obviously, I'm sure this wasn't your intention, but you haven't given him much depth as a person, or as a character. However, I think the detail you give to the actual cars racing is phenomenal. I LOVE THIS STORY!
Hope this was somewhat helpful.
~HiPpOoFdOoM~
OMG! I love it so far, BUT, I think the story would be better if you lay off the romance a little bit and focus a little more on the story. Sometimes you skip scenes that I want to read about, and include scenes that are just repeating over and over. No I am not bothered by the lemon, but I think, maybe without realizing it, you made Ben seem kinda player-ish and just out for her body. Obviously, I'm sure this wasn't your intention, but you haven't given him much depth as a person, or as a character. However, I think the detail you give to the actual cars racing is phenomenal. I LOVE THIS STORY!
Hope this was somewhat helpful.
~HiPpOoFdOoM~
2/26/2009 c12 bob
love it...!
love it...!
2/21/2009 c12 renroy
I really like the chapter. Their wasn't as much action as i imagine but i can understand your reason. But don't worry the story is still very gd
xox-ren-xox
I really like the chapter. Their wasn't as much action as i imagine but i can understand your reason. But don't worry the story is still very gd
xox-ren-xox
2/20/2009 c12 Rachel
Hi. Good chapter. Can't wait to see what happens next. The last chapter was good, too by the way.
Hi. Good chapter. Can't wait to see what happens next. The last chapter was good, too by the way.
2/20/2009 c12 4WhataLovelyPenName
hey, i'm excited that she's finally in the whole upper ring of the street racers. it's exciting. :P
my condolences for your death. :(
hey, i'm excited that she's finally in the whole upper ring of the street racers. it's exciting. :P
my condolences for your death. :(
2/20/2009 c12 angie
this is one my favourite stories here.well done.update soon ca't wait to see what happens next.thanks
this is one my favourite stories here.well done.update soon ca't wait to see what happens next.thanks
2/20/2009 c12 1buffyeesummers
What is going to happen at nine o'clock?...such suspense.
Looking forward to your next update! How many chapters are you planning?
p.s. Was the 'Paul Walker' just a coincidence, or are you playing on 'Fast and the Furious'?
What is going to happen at nine o'clock?...such suspense.
Looking forward to your next update! How many chapters are you planning?
p.s. Was the 'Paul Walker' just a coincidence, or are you playing on 'Fast and the Furious'?