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for Heart Beat

4/4/2009 c1 11Fay Diablo
This was very emotional and deep, and almost struck home.

There were a few things- the first being that you kind of repeat yourself in places. Also, it's very choppy and almost sloppily strung together- it doesn't really flow to me. But that could just be me.

Anyway, I saw you put something in The Carnival forum, so I decided to review something out of...something. It was definently something.

~Pyro~Fay~Badass Queen of Bunnies~
3/22/2009 c1 6Kalista Jia
But then I met you.

And different wasn’t accepted,

It changed,

Everything changed.

My heart didn’t beat to its own tune;

Not any more.

It beat with the others;

All together,

All the same:

Bum babum, bum babum.

It is so sweet! AW!

I like the way you describe the change with the heartbeats, it is very beautiful.

Oh noes, the heart is broken. LOVE IT "It has no beat, my heart is dead" Very powerful.
3/19/2009 c1 88Chidori Nadare
I think that the idea you wanted to get across in this poem is coming through. For a poem that is about love (practically used since the beginning of time), I think that it does not have the usual fluff that I always seem to find in love poems.

Although, I have to say that the format is messy and awkward, in a way. It seems to have "no sense of direction". I also found some of the last parts really redundant. I think that grouping them into stanzas world help. Then, there's also the punctuations. Some of them are out of place.

Overall, it was pretty good. I hope that this review can help you.

- Chidori Nadare (from the Roadhouse)
8/10/2008 c1 29They Call Me Mimii
I think this is good in essence but near the end it starts to get slightly redundant(It repeats a little too much)

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