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for The Stage is a World

2/3/2009 c9 22RavenclawMoose
I think this is a great commentary on the human ability to deceive. A few of your previous haiku did not seem to flow very well, but you retrieved the flow wonderfully with this.

2/3/2009 c6 RavenclawMoose
Once again, your imagery is superb. The last line was quite wistful feeling and lovely.
2/3/2009 c4 RavenclawMoose
Nice. I like the image in this haiku. It's very easy to relate to.
2/3/2009 c3 RavenclawMoose
*Review marathon prize!*

I really like the imagery you used. I could see the image wonderfully clear in my mind, and I enjoyed the light, happy feeling I got from it as opposed to the dark, bitter tone you typically get when highways are mentioned in relation to nature.

The wording you used fit perfectly into the imagery. I liked the idea of roads being a quilt across the world. It flowed quite nicely, too. I've found that sometimes, haiku can be difficult to write in a way that flows, because it's form naturally makes it tend towards choppiness. You, however, made this haiku, as well as the other ones I've read so far, flow very nicely.

I don't really have anything negative to say about this Haiku, as it was quite lovely overall.

1/26/2009 c4 18Lime-Cat
Since this collection of haikus are themed after theater, I thought this haiku would talk about a victim in a specific play. You really caught me by surprise when I saw this was about a pen. I found it interesting and ingenious to have the subject actually be about the source of a play: the pen! Absolute brilliance and quite humorous too.

The imagery in this simple haiku is impeccable as well. I've seen a good number of mauled pens, but very few poems actually honor them like this one. Other than the reference to the pen as a victim, I also enjoyed the description of your imagination. The notion of a "riotous imagination" is very creative and I couldn't help but chuckle at the personification of your imagination. :)


PS: Congrats on winning the January RM!
1/25/2009 c7 half-sketched.staccatos
konnichi wa

This picture is just - WOW. No words can express how much I love this haiku. The meaning, the play on "All the world's a stage," and the imagery itself. I think it was brilliant on your part to begin with "Lights dim" because I felt as if I were actually there behind the scenes with a play about to begin. It immediately placed me right into the haiku, made it a clear reality. I felt the chaotic bustle of activity that precedes a performance: everyone rushing about in whispers getting into costume... and then begins the production! "People paint livid stories" really says it all.

The fabric of life... instead of the world being a stage, the stage you stand upon becomes an entire world - a painted story of a life that does not exist but, in the eyes of the audience (and the actors, one would hope), is as real as the air they breathe.

This I - just loved. Absolutely loved.

Ha det

1/25/2009 c9 half-sketched.staccatos
konnichi wa

*sigh* Sometimes I cannot help but think this of my own life. As many smiles and frowns as I paste across my face, I feel as if I cannot express my true feelings in front of other people. Instead, my expressions because "made of guises," as you so eloquently put it and the truth of myself has been lost. Truly powerful words here.


1/25/2009 c8 half-sketched.staccatos
konnichi wa

I must commend you on this one, truly. I think it is right up there with The Stage is a World (which - when I write the review to it - you will see I loved). Firstly, I happen to adore the word "rivulets" when it is used in a poetic sense. The second line was just... stunning, as was the third. *sigh* I love this haiku. Kudos.

Ha det

1/25/2009 c3 half-sketched.staccatos
konnichi wa

Love the imagery here. I didn't absolutely love the haiku itself as I did a couple of others in this series so far (in specific Esteem, Broke, and The Stage is a World), but I did love the last line and the picture it painted. It reminds of the picture you get when you look out an airplane window. The rows of farmland sort of run together and look exactly like different green patches that come together in one large quilt.


1/25/2009 c6 half-sketched.staccatos
konnichi wa

Oh, if that were me...

It leaves me with a sense of - what is a good word to use here? I don't know. A sense of innocent, almost childish wonderment. Imagination swelling, feeling as if - well, basically how you so accurately described it. If that were me...

The eclipse just topped it off. The icing on the proverbial cake. ;)

ki o tsukete nee

1/25/2009 c2 half-sketched.staccatos
konnichi wa

Hm, I didn't like this one so much. I didn't like the flow of it. I don't know what it was because as I reread it, there is nothing wrong with the flow. Even so, it feels... wrong... to me. It feels almost brittle or forced.


1/25/2009 c5 half-sketched.staccatos
konnichi wa

Aw, I love this chapter. I completely empathize with the feeling. When I was little, I would sit out on the sidewalk with my little table, my little box, my drinks and trinkets to sell... and sit there... and sit there. FINALLY one person would come by with a five-dollar bill, wondering if I had change... and my poor little box was absolutely empty. T'was terrible to admit, "No, I don't," and have to wait while the person rummaged through a purse or wallet for random coins to offer instead.

Brought back such memories.

Ha det

1/25/2009 c1 half-sketched.staccatos
konnichi wa

*laughs* Oh how I agree. Shakespeare often has two completely opposing effects on me: Either I become so inspired by his beautiful language that I go into a flurry of writing activity... or I feel like giving up because how can I possibly compare to his stunning imagery?

I read a bit of your profile, and I must disagree when you say you don't believe in Writer's Block. Personally, I try to write every single day. Sometimes, even though I fight myself with every fiber within me, I cannot seem to think of a single word to write. I don't think it is a lack of determination on my part. I do agree that SOMETIMES laziness is the underlying cause, but at the same time there are moments when Writer's Block is just the inability to transfer your ideas into fitting words.

Anyway, just my two cents on the matter. :) Feel free to shoot it down in response. I love a good debate, after all.

Ha det

1/20/2009 c9 70PoetryQueen
I liked this, it had a nice flow to it. Good job!
1/20/2009 c1 PoetryQueen
That was cute. I liked it! I can relate to it.
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