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for Wasted

8/12/2008 c1 33Sit In Solemn Silence
I loved the third poem! And the metaphors were absolutely mindblowing. The writing was beautiful and I don't have anything to say in critique.
8/12/2008 c1 185truefire
I love it! It's fantastic. My only critisism (hopefully contructive) is that some of the lines are a little short which makes it choppy. I think you might be able to embody more of the "drunkenness" with longer lines.

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