Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Everest on Fire

10/22/2010 c1 34StructureDKhaos
A very good read, easy and atmospheric! I love it!
11/11/2008 c1 612simpleplan13
A review from the Review Game on its first birthday to thank you for being a part of the community.

“And a fiery halo flickered”… flickering would work better with proclaiming also it would keep it as one sentence

“From the top that pale golden orb”…I didn’t like how you reused that phrase, I’m sure you could come up with a different, but just as great image

I like how you did the pronunciation at the end, it helped but I would do it for Sargarmartha and Chomulunga as well since I had no idea how to say those.

I liked the piece you descriptions were really great and I liked what you were describing as well, it was interesting.
11/6/2008 c1 2dragonflydreamer
Freebie review! :D

I really like your idea here. I found it interesting how you worked from the beauty aspect of fire instead of it's usual negative meaning. It was very creative and refreshing to read.

On a similar note, I like your last line. It really demonstrates your meaning and wraps this up nicely.

The only thing I didn't like was that you used "orb" twice in the first stanza. It's used so closely together that it sounds strange. That could just be my opinion, though.

Very nice poem!
10/8/2008 c1 11Z451
Simply magnificent in the ways you describe the moutain at dawn just simply perfect.
9/20/2008 c1 Kit
I'm not one for poetry, but "fiery halo flickered" brought a wonderful image to mind.
9/1/2008 c1 Ernest Bloom
get single spacing using shift-enter combination.

this is a big panoramic picture; i prefer switching to the macro lens. show us tiny close-up particular details; not "awesome mountain ranges."

my opinion. luck.
8/24/2008 c1 64fatbird33
this is a beautiful, beautiful poem. *applaudes* fantastic descriptions and i loved the last five stanzas especially, because i too have a great love for mountains. nice work!
8/19/2008 c1 6Scrolled
That was breath taking, I could nearly see it. Your descriptive language was just beautiful. My favorite line "Til under silver orb And on black rock I climbed." Are you really looking to "improve" this? I think it's perfect. :) Hope the trip was all you hoped for!

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service