Just In
for A Collection of Haikus Based on Everyday Feelings

9/13/2009 c1 1running-in-the-rain
Hides her head?
1/20/2009 c2 118Thenardier
A haiku that is rather metaphysical in nature, it really is elegantly written.
1/20/2009 c1 Thenardier
This is beautifully written. A very elegant way of showing to us what patience is.
1/18/2009 c3 4Decoris Verbum
Brought by the Review Marathon - link in profile.

You know, when I saw that this one had multiple haikus in one poem, I wasn't sure if I would like it, but every one really counted and contributed to the overall arc of the poem. Nice work. I liked the line "but only human," because you don't have to explain further to the the reader. We already know. It seems you really got that. Again, you have some four-syllable lines (typically at the ends) that kind of distracted me.

1/18/2009 c2 Decoris Verbum
Brought by the Review Marathon - link in profile.

I loved the first line in this one, because the personification of time really made the reader think, thus engaging them in the poem. I think you could work on punctuation throughout your haikus because they all seem just like regular lines. Punctuation can really magnify the meaning of haikus, at least from my experience.

Nice work!

1/18/2009 c1 Decoris Verbum
Brought to you by the Review Marathon - link in profile.

I liked how you repeated the word "briefly" in the second line, because it really gave a ringing feel to the words and put the reader in a wistful state. That was magic. However, the third line is only four words, so that kind of strays from the form of haiku. Otherwise, great job!

9/14/2008 c2 2dragonflydreamer
I liked the first line because it was an interesting way to describe time.

I didn't like that this didn't have punctuation because the sentences blended together and were slightly confusing.

~Sparkles from the Review Marathon (link in profile)
9/14/2008 c1 dragonflydreamer
I like the last line becaues, by putting it at the end, it seemed to prolong the feeling of waiting.

I didn't like the second line because the "but" made me think it went with the last line.

~Sparkles from the Review Marathon (link in profile)
9/13/2008 c2 612simpleplan13
Review Marathon! (link in my profile)

I like this piece because it's really relateable. I also like how you described boring with the whole time thing, it was different. I also liked how you used the word middle in the middle line, I dunno if it was on purpose but it was cute.
9/13/2008 c1 simpleplan13
Why aren't you participating in the Review Marathon (link in my profile)?

I like the title, it fits well. I also like your repetition. Usually it's too much in a haiku, but it works really well here to emphasize the point of the piece. I might suggest capitalizing with the punctuation, though.
9/1/2008 c1 172DefineBeauty
i like this piece. it's unique and kinda mysterious like. i like the second line the best i think

but i'm not so sure about the last line. because this follows the standard haiku format, i think you should add another syllable to the last line. but other than that, its great =]
8/24/2008 c1 64fatbird33
i really liked this poem. and i saw that in your poll that last line only has foru syllabyles (sp?), but really i didn't notice, and i don't think that a lot of people will...

anywho, i really liked this poem as i stated earlier. I think it says an awful lot in such little space.
8/19/2008 c1 306Ashelin
I like this, but doesn't the last line need four syllables, or were you working on a different system? I thought it was a beautiful poem, and worked with the title so well. Good job.

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