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for Like the Caged Bird

8/20/2008 c1 9angelic wanderer
so true! *hold back a tear or two*

they never heed us.
8/20/2008 c1 94AK the Twilight
What I found interesting about this work is that the "caged bird" desires freedom not for its own matters, but to help others, an interesting twist on the long-worn concept. The second stanza is specifically strong, as you begin to emphasize the incarceration of the bird and describe the captivity.

The rest of the poem, however, feels a bit bland and lacks the strong words you chose in the beginning. The emotion is still there, but try to add some detail into this poem. It feels a bit rambly in places. I get the message clearly, and the whole thing is tied together well with the final line, but cosmetically, the language could've been more detailed.

Overall, good job. It was a fine read.

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