6/16/2010 c27 TaylorV1
Verry verry adorable! :)

6/10/2010 c27 1Candescence
Ok, so, this story: All though it's a nice one and all with the plot, I kinda think you drug it out too much. I mean in the middle-ish area, I was like: can this plz hurry up, there needs to be much more drama so we can move on, it was becoming a bit redundant for me. And then when I read those huge paragraphs that you had toward the end, I thought that they could've been separated a bit more, instead of being mushed all into one big thing.

This story was a good one, but for me, I like it when they are filled with drama and twists so you don't think it's dragging out too much. And that's what you need to do, add more to it. For instance, if you wanted to make their relationship stronger and more appealing to your readers, then you should've added some impediments that would've messed with their relationship. You want to make your readers cry at the end, make them feel so happy that the couple finally gets their happy ever after and maybe, sometime, that can happen to them too. I mean, come on, I think it's safe to say that we're all hopeless romantics, and we love things that would make us moody, make us sad, make us hope in a story.

I'm not trying to be mean or offensive or anything like that, I just wanna help. Gosh, I think this is the longest review I've ever written.

:)

6/9/2010 c2 Candescence
Sigh, I love this guy already cuz he's a swimmer. I love swimmers, they're so hot and they're bodies are so...gorgeous and lanky.

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