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11/4/2010 c1 8guppylove
What made this story interesting, was the fact the characters were writers. They were the embodiment of their stories.

What I gain in understanding of plot, in your story, is that it doesn't necessarily rely on action alone. I can visualize the scene play out purely on character point of view and observations. Thank you.
6/15/2010 c1 12lianoid
From WRR

He had to admire their thoroughness, if nothing else.

-This was an awesome follow-up line to that string of cynicism. Beautiful.

In there it was a furnace.

-In? If you’re talking about the city, shouldn’t it be “out”?

Lmfao, this man is so dry and bitter and cynical, and the way you describe it is so hilarious. I love the stereotype names he gives them. Such a variety of characters in that room, I think I might be feeling the same thing if I were in his position. ;)

'To be a writer, you need to write,' he said. It was the most obvious thing in the world; the same old crap he spouted everywhere he went, but somehow people always been surprised to hear it.

-Ha-ha! This had me howling. Seriously? That much of a surprise, ‘eh? Too funny.

It depressed him to think that such clichés could be walking around in the real world.

-How do you do it? I’m crazy about this story and I’m only halfway through. I’m almost crying over here, this is just way too hilarious. I can’t even breathe I’m laughing so much. How I’m even typing while not being able to breathe is beyond me.

We wondered whether someone had spiked his morning coffee. God, he hoped someone had spiked his morning coffee. There was just no way this could actually be happening.

-Edit: I think the “We” is meant to be a “He”.

What a twist! That was brilliant. I don’t even know what to say, that was just awesome. His death as rather gruesome. Damn, shitty way to go out my dear writer. Ha-ha. The ending reminded me of my one of my character’s deaths actually, so it was interesting to see a similar technique used by someone else. Excellent piece overall. This is definitely going on my favourites. The only complaint I have, which isn’t really a complaint; more like a comment, is that I felt the tone shifted a little too quickly. I mean, when he was thinking about where he knew the people from, it was perfect. But the part where he’s backing up against the wall and they’re advancing on him; that part felt a little rushed. Other than that though, I loved it. Fantastic work!
10/4/2009 c1 2Ashtonian151617
Very scary and something us authors should keep in mind lol! Don't leave your stories hanging!

Like others said, this is funny, but not the dying part, just the irony I guess. Nice job again!
9/22/2009 c1 Isca
The imagery in the opening paragraph is quite well-constructed and vivid. The "ugly, orange-stained" carpet, for example, definitely gave the imagery some added character.

"What was he doing here?" I like this line. Justin's sense of confusion is quickly mixed with anxiety and apprehension. I even like the fact that he 'doesn't want to appear rude' in front of the 'cat ladies.' That alone suggests that he's the type of man who wants to please others by hiding his true feelings/opinions.

"We've spent the past eight years waiting." I adore this line. The tone is absolutely bone-chilling and impactful. I like this plot twist: the characters are seeking their revenge after being abandoned by the author.

By the way, the "this is...the end" ending was both brilliant and crafty. Keep up the awesome work. :)

(The Review Game - Stories - Easy Fix)
9/22/2009 c1 25KelaBelle
Your story was brillaint. I didn't notice no grammar mistakes or anything typo mistakes so thats one good thing about it.

Also I liked the way you writed the story. ;)

Keep on writing.
9/18/2009 c1 11HiddenFromYou
This was quite funny (obviously not the Justin dying bit, but you know what I mean. It was totally unexpected, and I feel a little stupid because I didn't get it earlier on. :)

The idea of the characters in the stories you abandoned coming to life and having revenge on you in creepy, and quite frightening.

This a good idea, and the story was well set out.
9/15/2009 c1 9Sakina the Fallen Angel
WOW! This was absolutely great ~ loved the way you took a cliche author's characters coming to life idea and made it into your very own. The ending had me chilled to bits!

~ Sakina x
1/6/2009 c1 9lumanarann
Wow. Gruesome.

But I liked the irony.
10/15/2008 c1 raineyday
Brilliant! This is like an episode of the Twilight Zone and just magnificent. Incredibly unique concept, too.

Your narrative voice is very strong and has a lot of character in its own right. The little, quirky details and the way your narrator responds to them really pull your reader in and make the situation, however surreal, feel more authentic. It created this really creepy feeling of actually being there, which was marvelous. Also loved the way he categorized the characters, his characters, rather, at the beginning. Very funny. Especially Supergay Man! That one cracked me up.

And your ending was fantastic. Very clever, and definitely delivers a punch.

You say at the beginning that short stories have never been your genre, but I say you should definitely write more if this one is any indication of your talents. Fabulous piece!
8/25/2008 c1 1Kneecap
Well, tbh, the idea wasn't the most original one. I've heard of the idea before, in different contexts.

HOWEVER, the entire paragraph about what kind of things the people would write made me piss myself xD. And I could just imagine Angry Black Woman being a more butch version of Mr. T xD.

I loved the way you wrote it, and the bitchy lines between the characters. And Nasal Woman just...killed me.

I actually thought this was more funny than anything else :). Loved it. ^^.
8/25/2008 c1 1emmie-exodus
Oh I like a lot

Of course I am now terrified of not finishing stories...

The line "Treehugger would write some feminist shit about her vagina being Mother Earth, or something" made me laugh so much I had a spasm. Great line.

Keep it up!
8/25/2008 c1 Cricket
*shudders* Creepy thought, characters getting angry about being suspended when a story's abandoned.

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