for Knight Love1/7/2011 c1 Pumpkin.-.-.Kween
I didn't really get what the title has to do with the story. I thought his last name was going to be Knight but it wasn't. anyways.. I originally kinda thought like Troy was gonna be the main love interest because it seemed like it from the beginning. Then it seemed like there was going to be a love triangle but no. Then it seemed like Troy was a kinda okay character but ended up being the opposite. I think you mightve kept changing your mind about where the story was going and it shows in your writting. If you think out your story in full BEFORE publishing it, it would be less confusing for your readers. Also the story seemed rushed at times, especially towards the ending.. its as though you were over the story already and just wanted it to end and thats not fair to your readers. - all of that aside, you have a knack for making your readers feel the emotions of characters and atmospheres of settings. That is a hard thing to do with words. Work on not rushing the story, being consistant with details and facts and also thinking through a story and re-reading before publishing it and you have a great future as a writter.
I didn't really get what the title has to do with the story. I thought his last name was going to be Knight but it wasn't. anyways.. I originally kinda thought like Troy was gonna be the main love interest because it seemed like it from the beginning. Then it seemed like there was going to be a love triangle but no. Then it seemed like Troy was a kinda okay character but ended up being the opposite. I think you mightve kept changing your mind about where the story was going and it shows in your writting. If you think out your story in full BEFORE publishing it, it would be less confusing for your readers. Also the story seemed rushed at times, especially towards the ending.. its as though you were over the story already and just wanted it to end and thats not fair to your readers. - all of that aside, you have a knack for making your readers feel the emotions of characters and atmospheres of settings. That is a hard thing to do with words. Work on not rushing the story, being consistant with details and facts and also thinking through a story and re-reading before publishing it and you have a great future as a writter.
1/7/2011 c3 Gone-ForEVER
I know you already said that you don't have time to edit, that you only have time to type it up and you only want feedback on the actual story line but the thing is your spelling and grammatical errors really affect the final product.
Your concept is interesting but your main character does seem to be very much a damsel in distress, the first three chapters all end the same and I think that really makes her seem weak.
I don't mean this as a flame and I hope your not offended but this story could be much improved with a little revision and attention to detail because it's all the small details that make a story great.
One more issue is how fast paced your scenes are, there's not much dialogue or information and at times it can be quite confusing. I hope you will take some of the issues that I have addressed into consideration because this story does have a lot of potential.
I know you already said that you don't have time to edit, that you only have time to type it up and you only want feedback on the actual story line but the thing is your spelling and grammatical errors really affect the final product.
Your concept is interesting but your main character does seem to be very much a damsel in distress, the first three chapters all end the same and I think that really makes her seem weak.
I don't mean this as a flame and I hope your not offended but this story could be much improved with a little revision and attention to detail because it's all the small details that make a story great.
One more issue is how fast paced your scenes are, there's not much dialogue or information and at times it can be quite confusing. I hope you will take some of the issues that I have addressed into consideration because this story does have a lot of potential.
11/13/2010 c17 
2Oriana-Lian-Starchild
Hey I just finihsed your story and I have to say I really like it and you even made me cry so that was a bonus.
2Oriana-Lian-StarchildHey I just finihsed your story and I have to say I really like it and you even made me cry so that was a bonus.
7/27/2010 c16 AuraVybrid
I love this story. i loved how it ended i actully cried. this was a memorable story i think becuz of how it ended.OMG, i'm still kind of choking/sobbing. i just want to say thanks for sharing this awesome, beauitful story with me and the others that read this story. Merci,
*Auravybrid*
I love this story. i loved how it ended i actully cried. this was a memorable story i think becuz of how it ended.OMG, i'm still kind of choking/sobbing. i just want to say thanks for sharing this awesome, beauitful story with me and the others that read this story. Merci,
*Auravybrid*
7/11/2010 c16 Da-zGreen
OMG! I loved the ending... You did a fantastic job. To bad they couldn't live forever to see their grandchildren. hehehhe. But love it! Thanks for the fun. Hope to read more of your stories.
OMG! I loved the ending... You did a fantastic job. To bad they couldn't live forever to see their grandchildren. hehehhe. But love it! Thanks for the fun. Hope to read more of your stories.
4/17/2010 c17 Last Wish
I wolfishly cute. Happy ending, how I wished the whole time she would turn into wolf. :( The story could have definitely been longer, but I'm satisfied with the ending so it's okay haha. Keep on writing!
I wolfishly cute. Happy ending, how I wished the whole time she would turn into wolf. :( The story could have definitely been longer, but I'm satisfied with the ending so it's okay haha. Keep on writing!
4/3/2010 c17 16MadameLeQueen
Loove it. It was adoring, fast and sweet. And I liked how you went all the way to the end with tv an anna's life (:
16MadameLeQueenLoove it. It was adoring, fast and sweet. And I liked how you went all the way to the end with tv an anna's life (:
2/28/2010 c4 WithEveryReason
How does she know where anything is? It's not like she had a tour of the house when she was passed out.
How does she know where anything is? It's not like she had a tour of the house when she was passed out.
2/28/2010 c3 WithEveryReason
That was...interesting? They're wolves eh?
Hm.
Unexpected, a nice little twist. :D
That was...interesting? They're wolves eh?
Hm.
Unexpected, a nice little twist. :D
2/28/2010 c2 WithEveryReason
I'm a bit confused and even though so much is happening I'm finding myself lose interest...
I'm a bit confused and even though so much is happening I'm finding myself lose interest...
2/27/2010 c1 2shutterbaby
I think the beginning of this story has a lot of potential, but it looks like a draft to me. It could definitely use some further editing. For example, it says things like (research forested location) or (location's high school).
2shutterbabyI think the beginning of this story has a lot of potential, but it looks like a draft to me. It could definitely use some further editing. For example, it says things like (research forested location) or (location's high school).
2/23/2010 c6 9Destiny1406
I love it so far! Can't wait to finish it! I only want to ask that you possibly take a look at my stories! Thanks
Haybell
9Destiny1406I love it so far! Can't wait to finish it! I only want to ask that you possibly take a look at my stories! Thanks
Haybell
2/2/2010 c17 queensarah1
I loved that story its my favorite story and the ending is so heartwarming
Love
Sarah
I loved that story its my favorite story and the ending is so heartwarming
Love
Sarah