for My Bed12/12/2008 c1 
8Irresistible Apple
This is so great! I loved how you wrote it, so simple yet utterly poetic... the imagery was great. I particularly liked the line "with letters which i use to wear my heart upon my sleeve". Great job with this!
8Irresistible AppleThis is so great! I loved how you wrote it, so simple yet utterly poetic... the imagery was great. I particularly liked the line "with letters which i use to wear my heart upon my sleeve". Great job with this!
9/18/2008 c1 Charactarantula
I though it was very interesting that you didn't capitalize the word 'I' throught the entire poem, and it seemed like it was to make sure that the attention wasn't on the narrator but on the home, the room, and the person that she was sleeping with. Very cool, good work.
-Jake (down @ the roadhouse)
I though it was very interesting that you didn't capitalize the word 'I' throught the entire poem, and it seemed like it was to make sure that the attention wasn't on the narrator but on the home, the room, and the person that she was sleeping with. Very cool, good work.
-Jake (down @ the roadhouse)
9/18/2008 c1 Daggerstone
Apart from the title, which I don't really care for, there's not a single word here that does not belong...
Good work on picking out the details (it does have the drunken-ho feel, but I happen to be a great fan). I liked the "break-the-rules-but-don't-break-them" approach to punctuation - it's not a pain to read, yet achieves the impact.
It was meant to be read out loud, wasn't it?
The selling point? "...piles of paperback books which altogether add up / to an education or just a fine i can’t afford upon returning..."
D @ The Roadhouse
Apart from the title, which I don't really care for, there's not a single word here that does not belong...
Good work on picking out the details (it does have the drunken-ho feel, but I happen to be a great fan). I liked the "break-the-rules-but-don't-break-them" approach to punctuation - it's not a pain to read, yet achieves the impact.
It was meant to be read out loud, wasn't it?
The selling point? "...piles of paperback books which altogether add up / to an education or just a fine i can’t afford upon returning..."
D @ The Roadhouse
9/18/2008 c1 2mankind's tragedy
This poem is very, very good. I like how its a story, it was beautifully written.
2mankind's tragedyThis poem is very, very good. I like how its a story, it was beautifully written.