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8/29/2008 c1 9Leonines Ishiko Fauxville
Hi, I really liked the beginning of this piece. It reads like a ode that doesn't believe itself, which makes for some interesting moments. The set of three descriptive phrases in parantheses here (you included a similar set in Spine) were ill-placed though, short and uninteresting.

I also feel that the ending doesn't fit with the rest of the poem, and I don't quite get its purpose, or feel its place. What did you want to say with this poem?

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