for Smirnoff9/18/2008 c4 
33Sit In Solemn Silence
So short! *sob* But cute, in all its shortness. It was so, so, well I can only think of the word in spanish, but whatever, it was good! I must go whore your story now, because everyone needs to read it! Ciao!
33Sit In Solemn SilenceSo short! *sob* But cute, in all its shortness. It was so, so, well I can only think of the word in spanish, but whatever, it was good! I must go whore your story now, because everyone needs to read it! Ciao!
9/15/2008 c3 Sit In Solemn Silence
Hello! I liked the glimpse into Leslie's past. But why doesn't Devin remember his dads name? And why does no one else? That part confused me :( Smirnoffs are weird little buggers aren't they? Beautiful job, see you next chapter!
Hello! I liked the glimpse into Leslie's past. But why doesn't Devin remember his dads name? And why does no one else? That part confused me :( Smirnoffs are weird little buggers aren't they? Beautiful job, see you next chapter!
9/15/2008 c1 1Bohemian Daughter
Sorry it took me so long to get around to reading (and I'm sorry I only have enough time to read the first chapter at the moment!)
Anyway! This is really interesting, from what I can see you have a good grasp on your Leslie character.
The only thing I can think of suggesting is that you have a lot of dialog, maybe you could add some more content in there between all the chatter?
Great start, anyway! :D
1Bohemian DaughterSorry it took me so long to get around to reading (and I'm sorry I only have enough time to read the first chapter at the moment!)
Anyway! This is really interesting, from what I can see you have a good grasp on your Leslie character.
The only thing I can think of suggesting is that you have a lot of dialog, maybe you could add some more content in there between all the chatter?
Great start, anyway! :D
9/4/2008 c2 15Bluorange
Yay a smirnoff! I have a feeling I'm going to like these little guys.(That's a good thing right?) Hmm, I wonder how Leslie is going to mess up this cliched little fantasy land. I can't wait to see! Much Loves
15BluorangeYay a smirnoff! I have a feeling I'm going to like these little guys.(That's a good thing right?) Hmm, I wonder how Leslie is going to mess up this cliched little fantasy land. I can't wait to see! Much Loves
9/1/2008 c1 33Sit In Solemn Silence
This was an amazing start! It left so many good ways the plot can be developed. The whisked away to a magical land seems kind of cliched and monotone, but if this is how you write I have a feeling that it will be one hell of a story! There were a few typos, but definitely nothing urgent or extreme. Bring on the smirnoff!
33Sit In Solemn SilenceThis was an amazing start! It left so many good ways the plot can be developed. The whisked away to a magical land seems kind of cliched and monotone, but if this is how you write I have a feeling that it will be one hell of a story! There were a few typos, but definitely nothing urgent or extreme. Bring on the smirnoff!