for Screaming At The Moon10/2/2008 c1 
1TorMentor
It reads fast and personally, I still see the love that person (werewolf in my view) had for the other one, only now it's a "love to eat you" thing, not "love to love you" :p
You missed an "r" in "through my pores"
Just to feel that ruby red liquid - Slide down to the ground - Ooh baby, - Ooh baby, - You can see, - All of me- It’s all coming out now.
This particular piece was the best part of it for me, because you get a duality in what you mean with "coming out now", which I loved!
1TorMentorIt reads fast and personally, I still see the love that person (werewolf in my view) had for the other one, only now it's a "love to eat you" thing, not "love to love you" :p
You missed an "r" in "through my pores"
Just to feel that ruby red liquid - Slide down to the ground - Ooh baby, - Ooh baby, - You can see, - All of me- It’s all coming out now.
This particular piece was the best part of it for me, because you get a duality in what you mean with "coming out now", which I loved!
9/19/2008 c1 3Aureate Fading
O_o I'll be honest. This scared the living daylights outta me and seriously creeped me out.
=) Congrats. I liked it. Although you may want to change a word in the last stanza... you wrote 'your honey, -your love- will LIE next to you...' you may wanna change LIE to LAY. (That way, blockheads like moi don't get confused. =)Gotta help the dolts o' the world, eh?)
~~Lady of the Mirror
3Aureate FadingO_o I'll be honest. This scared the living daylights outta me and seriously creeped me out.
=) Congrats. I liked it. Although you may want to change a word in the last stanza... you wrote 'your honey, -your love- will LIE next to you...' you may wanna change LIE to LAY. (That way, blockheads like moi don't get confused. =)Gotta help the dolts o' the world, eh?)
~~Lady of the Mirror
9/19/2008 c1 8Violent Messiah
See, this is what I'm talking about. A great poem, I liked it and all, but it's screaming to be made into a story, Seriously, FTW, you need to crack down and go for the story!
Anyway, loved the grisly description and the simple idea of the piece. Good job...Cheers!
8Violent MessiahSee, this is what I'm talking about. A great poem, I liked it and all, but it's screaming to be made into a story, Seriously, FTW, you need to crack down and go for the story!
Anyway, loved the grisly description and the simple idea of the piece. Good job...Cheers!
9/16/2008 c1 8thebloodfiend
I liked the way you described the transformation but in my opinion the line "oh baby" might have been used to excess.
Thanks for the review
8thebloodfiendI liked the way you described the transformation but in my opinion the line "oh baby" might have been used to excess.
Thanks for the review
9/13/2008 c1 4Nolonegrusedaccount
Okay, this is truly...eww...Okay, now that I got that out of my system!
I liked this, although not as much as if it'd been an actual story. I especially liked this paragraph in particular:
"Screaming at the moon
Howling at that beautiful,
Picturesque pale face,
Straining for release."
I don't know why, but it really goes along with the whole "sexuality" of werewolves, at least that last line does. The others are just really good on their own, IMO. Although... "I rip my skin away"? That's seriously disturbing...
All in all, I'd give this an 8/10!
4NolonegrusedaccountOkay, this is truly...eww...Okay, now that I got that out of my system!
I liked this, although not as much as if it'd been an actual story. I especially liked this paragraph in particular:
"Screaming at the moon
Howling at that beautiful,
Picturesque pale face,
Straining for release."
I don't know why, but it really goes along with the whole "sexuality" of werewolves, at least that last line does. The others are just really good on their own, IMO. Although... "I rip my skin away"? That's seriously disturbing...
All in all, I'd give this an 8/10!
9/13/2008 c1 FuckMeAlice
Wow, scary. I love how you can make some gruesome and disturbing things seem really beautiful, like that artist, whose name I can't recall... Edvard Munsch! Good job.
Wow, scary. I love how you can make some gruesome and disturbing things seem really beautiful, like that artist, whose name I can't recall... Edvard Munsch! Good job.
9/13/2008 c1 Charactarantula
"I can smell your fear/Like a heady perfume..." Heady? Not sure what you mean by that.
That's the only thing I didn't get. Very intense poem, real turn away from the mushy romance poetry I'm used to. One of the lovers turns into a werewolf and eats the other. That's the way to go!
-Jake (down @ the roadhouse)
"I can smell your fear/Like a heady perfume..." Heady? Not sure what you mean by that.
That's the only thing I didn't get. Very intense poem, real turn away from the mushy romance poetry I'm used to. One of the lovers turns into a werewolf and eats the other. That's the way to go!
-Jake (down @ the roadhouse)