for Jumbo Jets and Firemen2/12/2009 c1 Your Valentine
hey beautiful.
with a beatiful face, you write beauitful poetry even at the young age of 9.
i love the rhyme in here cuz it's numbingly sweet. you've got lovely imagry too. the last line was good cuz it rly hit home n was rly telling. great job.
~B.D.
hey beautiful.
with a beatiful face, you write beauitful poetry even at the young age of 9.
i love the rhyme in here cuz it's numbingly sweet. you've got lovely imagry too. the last line was good cuz it rly hit home n was rly telling. great job.
~B.D.
10/16/2008 c1 
121doctor's diagnosis
With love from the review game.
This is really good for being nine!
I think the rhyme is excellent, it softens the atrocity of the event being described. The repeat of "people" in lines 6-8 reaffirms the individuals themselves who were affected by the 9-11 attacks. I like the last line, it gives an excellent finality.
It's good to hear that every where remembers what occurred that day. I live only an hour away from NYC, and I remember the fear instilled that day clearly, although I was nine as well.
121doctor's diagnosisWith love from the review game.
This is really good for being nine!
I think the rhyme is excellent, it softens the atrocity of the event being described. The repeat of "people" in lines 6-8 reaffirms the individuals themselves who were affected by the 9-11 attacks. I like the last line, it gives an excellent finality.
It's good to hear that every where remembers what occurred that day. I live only an hour away from NYC, and I remember the fear instilled that day clearly, although I was nine as well.
9/13/2008 c1 172DefineBeauty
for being 9 when you wrote that, it's pretty good! yea, it could use a little work, especially with the flow, but other than that, it's really good =]
i remember exactly where i was when 9/11 happened and i really didn't understand what was going on then. but as i look back on it, it was a major event in history that will always be remembered.
i like the way you portrayed feelings in this. i cant exacly pinpoint the exact feelings but i know that they're there.
nice work
172DefineBeautyfor being 9 when you wrote that, it's pretty good! yea, it could use a little work, especially with the flow, but other than that, it's really good =]
i remember exactly where i was when 9/11 happened and i really didn't understand what was going on then. but as i look back on it, it was a major event in history that will always be remembered.
i like the way you portrayed feelings in this. i cant exacly pinpoint the exact feelings but i know that they're there.
nice work
9/11/2008 c1 5Eagle Seance
Sensitively written. I liked the lines 'in go the firemen...out go the people', and the rhyming couplet near the end was good too.
5Eagle SeanceSensitively written. I liked the lines 'in go the firemen...out go the people', and the rhyming couplet near the end was good too.