for I'm His Angel But He's My Demon8/4/2011 c1 
10Draco volans
Good chapter. The suggestion I would make is to put each of the rules on their own line, and to of course, update.
10Draco volansGood chapter. The suggestion I would make is to put each of the rules on their own line, and to of course, update.
9/15/2008 c1 raydaniel
I think this is a great start! You already have three interesting characters.
I can see this becoming a novel or a short story. In fact, you came
out of the gate so fast that I think you might want to go the short story route.
I think this is a great start! You already have three interesting characters.
I can see this becoming a novel or a short story. In fact, you came
out of the gate so fast that I think you might want to go the short story route.
9/14/2008 c1 kimbadewey
Compelling opening to the story! Love your descriptions of the clothing in the the bar.
I wasn't sure which law Rosaline had broken. Was it associating with a demon? Would a quick conversation be considered associating?
Your writing flows very well for a first draft. Excellent job!
Compelling opening to the story! Love your descriptions of the clothing in the the bar.
I wasn't sure which law Rosaline had broken. Was it associating with a demon? Would a quick conversation be considered associating?
Your writing flows very well for a first draft. Excellent job!