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for Look Through My Eyes

5/3/2010 c3 4BlaznFangurl
Maybe my review will send this time -_- I liked this one, it was cute and a bit odd. You write wonderfully, I am jealous lol, no wonder you have so many reviews ^_^
5/2/2010 c2 BlaznFangurl
That was totally interesting, it wasn't sad but it certainly wasn't happy either. That was a pretty deep and interesting dream you had there. My dreams are odd but all in a funny way, that was just different I must say. I don't really know if I liked the ending, I mean I didn't not like it, the ending was pretty "sums things up" type of thing...but at times animals do need humans help against those who would be cruel to them, I mean it was a good "an animal can take care of itself" type thing but still, it was iffy to me. Not the story, that was great, just the end...I was expecting something else I guess, ugh never mind, I am going in circles. Great work ^^
5/2/2010 c1 BlaznFangurl
It doesn't matter why you wrote it just matters that it is really good. I love writing poetry but it's hard to write one of those poems that sounds philosophical and makes people think, and sound like professional poems which are written by those famous authors. But this sounded really great, I have no clue what it was about but it would be fun to analyze and that is a great element of a great poem.

Truly an awesome piece of work ^^ You write great :)
4/1/2010 c17 Brenda Agaro
That was beautifully written. I like main character's voice - poetic and with a good flow. Great interaction.



{Remembered her slight flush in the cheeks when she talking about something daring.} I think "was" should be before "talking."

{"I-" She faltered, looked down.} "She" should be lowercased.
3/28/2010 c6 2Lady Kiri
I know this was written in the viewpoint of an Australian, but this reminds me of my parents view on how time flies by and the fact that I've grown up.
3/28/2010 c5 Lady Kiri
It's been a while since I've read anything in couplets. I liked it.
3/28/2010 c4 Lady Kiri
Interesting story on the origin of Kiwis. I never really thought much about them in that way.

Thanks for your reviews! These days I find myself liking constructive criticism even more than compliments.
3/23/2010 c16 Brenda Agaro
A great story. I personally thought you did good on the perspective. It flows well, even in present tense. Good job in showing what's happening as well. It was short, and I think maybe it could be expanded (a bit more description?), but I figured that's intended since it's the point of view of a wolf. For some reason, this feels like it could be written in first person, but I still like this story.

A couple things:

{annoying loud noises that prick at the wolf's ears and scary away prey and alert predators.} Should it be "scare"?

{Slavering, greedy, grins say.} I'm wondering if this is describing a person.
3/9/2010 c2 3naito-kun
woah, loved the sudden turn of events at the end of the story! totally did not see that coming. and somehow your first poem reminds me of something by dream theater, can't remember which song is it...
3/3/2010 c3 2Lady Kiri
Ah second person point of view. Pretty difficult to pull off since readers have to put themselves into a character's position. This was well done and easy to relate to.
3/3/2010 c2 Lady Kiri
Oh my God! While I was reading the first few paragraphs, I was certain that the dog would die...I'm so glad he didn't! Very nicely written and kudos on the imagery in the opening paragraph.
3/3/2010 c1 Lady Kiri
That poem is awesome for the words just coming to you! Whenever I write poetry, I always go through a few drafts before getting a final product. (They're nowhere near as awesome as this!)

Lady Kiri

p.s. Do you mean by 'I return favors' as in reviews?
2/27/2010 c1 WutNow
Hey Narq! I miss you! I just wanted to say that I will catch up with Children of Winata soon, but I realized you had a poem collection so I took a peak. I thought this was lovely so I decided to review :D

I love the rhyming scheme of this poem. It's like a song and for some reason i found myself rapping. YES- rapping- it was that good lol. I especially liked the ending and this little line right here: " Watching the door you left ajar

knowing your cage is outside, waiting for me to step inside." Such beautiful imagery you used my friend. I'm in awe. You crammed so much into this I found it overwhelmingly uplifting. Great job Narq! I really really loved it.

2/16/2010 c17 30sophiesix
I love the feeling of loss runing through this, of almost-said and didn't-quite-know. I like how you make it dramatic and fulfilling and satisfying without anyone dying. The contrast between his tenderness for her and his hurt and anger is also really nicely handled. Lovely!
2/15/2010 c2 Anise Cary
This is a powerful piece. I was immediately reminded of when Buck is being beaten in The Call of the Wild, this dog seemed to have much the same spirit as Buck. The narrator's questioning herself after the child stepped forward and spoke up really caught my attention. I didn't expect the end, I didn't expect the dog to be feral, that the man was trying to break it into being docile. I felt a surge of excitement for the dog when it bit it's captor and broke free. Great writing.
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