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10/23/2008 c1 32Beautiful Bones
First, I want to say, sorry I haven't reviewed your stuff earlier I've just been busy lately I guess you could say... Anyway.

I kind of get where you are going with part of this poem; like I understand that this "person" means a lot to you. You describe them as being everything that is good, everything that makes or means something. Of course, I like a phrase I personally found "you are the chocolate chips to my cookie", I just find that so cute. :3

But at the end of the poem you are making this person everything. At the last sentence you describe them as being "you are everyone, even me"... and personally that just doesn't make much sense to me. If that's so, then it can't really be a person... Really, I just assume that you ran out of rhyming words and decided to go with that ending. I think that you should have stuck with describing that certain person as important things like "you are the air I breathe" or "you are the extra step in my walk". I don't really care that you made them "everything"-it just kind of breaks the flow, you know?

On the bright side, there are no spelling mistakes, but you might want to consider starting to put commas at the end of each verse...


Much love ♥

9/22/2008 c1 3ellsworth-toohey
Very sweet poem! It's good to have someone who means so much to you.
9/18/2008 c1 7A.J Scarlet
It's a decent poem, Do you seriously have someone THAT important to you? Hmm... then again I think EVERYone has someone that important. Cool. XD

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