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for That Night at the Disco …

8/28/2009 c1 L-Lilith
I like that it is open ended and all we know about the Don is this evil deed he has committed. But I feel like the diction in this could be expanded upon to its benefit. I mean, while I kind of like that you repeat the word "disco" several times, especially since it is in the title, you do use the word "lights" twice in two adjacent lines. I also do not follow the chronology of the poem, because in the second line there are screams, but in the fourth line, which seems to be taking place simultaneously to the second line, there is silence. If there were screams but silence once the shot is fired, that makes sense but it is not clear. With that said, I liked the the imagery of the lights shining like fallen stars.
6/8/2009 c1 11Whispers of the Lost
From the very start, you paint a vivid mental picture of the scene. I can almost see the chaos of the lights flashing as you describe them. Beautiful imagery, lovely composition. I love your style.

Favorite line: "Silence filled the disco, as the lights shined like fallen stars".

^ I love this. Great work!

-Sasha
3/30/2009 c1 43Dante's Disciple
This like an awesome opening of some gangster story, it is immediatley engaging, good imagery, I love it :)
10/24/2008 c1 Isca
This reminded me of the famous prom scene from the movie 'Carrie.' The first line is captivating, and really captures the readers attention. Good descriptive wording and imagery throughout. I liked the 'sins of man' part the best :)
10/3/2008 c1 59radioactive stanica
I fixed the error... thanks!
9/28/2008 c1 612simpleplan13
"Blood drips from the Don’s face as he smile"... The Don's face as he smiles or smiled

Powerful piece, I like the juxtaposition of the blood and the disco. Your descriptions are nice as well.
9/19/2008 c1 7Rooster Skull
I like it a lot! Very deep, and the imagery is excelent. It also reminded me of an old song.

Anywho, thanks for comment on my works. It was greatly appreciated.
9/19/2008 c1 jojoba-music-girl
It's dark but I liked it! And that says a lot, because usually I don't like dark poems very much. But you wrote it so well!

Oh, and thanks for your review too! And I've changed the grammatical error you saw, thank you for pointing that out! English is not my first language, so I need some help sometimes. Thank you for that, and thank you for writing such an amazing poem, it'll go into my favorites!

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