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9/22/2008 c1 9xryuusei
Love this poem! Story and structure (rhyming) are wonderful =)

Have to agree with flush-pink about the syllables-some lines are a little too short to work with the rest.

Waiting to read more of your writing!
9/20/2008 c1 10flush-pink
pretty poem =)

but...okay sorry to be a critic...there are times some lines are like missing syllables. . sorry! just had to say.

but it's very nice, i like the story. =) so sweet.
9/19/2008 c1 13Peace Revolution
the rhyming in this amazing.

and i also like the story.
9/19/2008 c1 4SPARK187
Great poem, and everything rhymes so perfectly. Ever think of putting this to music?

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