
9/20/2008 c1
3massattraction
M, I like it.
There seems to be a kind of flow to it, which is neat because you havent had to incorperate any rhyme. Its very good.
My only issue with it is one line,
"But unlike ivy not likely to cause more damage than the ivy itself if its forcefully removed."
Its a bit of a run on, and it interrupts the poem.
Other than that its good, keep writing ;)

M, I like it.
There seems to be a kind of flow to it, which is neat because you havent had to incorperate any rhyme. Its very good.
My only issue with it is one line,
"But unlike ivy not likely to cause more damage than the ivy itself if its forcefully removed."
Its a bit of a run on, and it interrupts the poem.
Other than that its good, keep writing ;)