for Magnetism7/18/2015 c5 Guest
I'm so sorry Avani! You poor girl...you are NOT a witch!
I'm so sorry Avani! You poor girl...you are NOT a witch!
2/10/2014 c4 PandyMi
Hello :)
The first time I was introduced to your particular brand of writing was through In the Cookie Jar. I loved it. I loved how refreshing the main character was. She was quirky, funny, slightly immature, and she is a pick-pocket. Enough said.
So I dove into this story with high expectations. I really liked the premise of the story. A teenage psychic meeting the guy of her dreams. Sure why not.
Unfortunately, that's where it ends. Avani, as the main protagonist doesn't have enough of a presence to carry this story through. I feel like she is a blank slate and the only thing that seems to define her is her obsession with the guy from her visions. Granted that IS what this story is about, but I expected her to have more deeper problems like the death of her father. Why isn't the mother affected by that at all? Both of them seems to just shrug it off. Maybe if you add in something about how she changed or how his death affected her, it would give the character some depth. Why doesn't she research more about her power? How exactly does it work? Anybody else in their family besides the mother with any brand of supernatural powers? And most importantly, why? Everything happens for a reason right? So why her?
Darren. Typical boy god of the school. He comes across as whiny, dispassionate and flat. His POV seems forced and choppy.
All in all, a pretty good premise, a nice solid idea but the delivery and characters definitely have room for improvement as they all seem two dimensional.
This is just my opinion on what I felt when reading this in comparison to your other stories. However, I do look forward to see how the story goes.
Hello :)
The first time I was introduced to your particular brand of writing was through In the Cookie Jar. I loved it. I loved how refreshing the main character was. She was quirky, funny, slightly immature, and she is a pick-pocket. Enough said.
So I dove into this story with high expectations. I really liked the premise of the story. A teenage psychic meeting the guy of her dreams. Sure why not.
Unfortunately, that's where it ends. Avani, as the main protagonist doesn't have enough of a presence to carry this story through. I feel like she is a blank slate and the only thing that seems to define her is her obsession with the guy from her visions. Granted that IS what this story is about, but I expected her to have more deeper problems like the death of her father. Why isn't the mother affected by that at all? Both of them seems to just shrug it off. Maybe if you add in something about how she changed or how his death affected her, it would give the character some depth. Why doesn't she research more about her power? How exactly does it work? Anybody else in their family besides the mother with any brand of supernatural powers? And most importantly, why? Everything happens for a reason right? So why her?
Darren. Typical boy god of the school. He comes across as whiny, dispassionate and flat. His POV seems forced and choppy.
All in all, a pretty good premise, a nice solid idea but the delivery and characters definitely have room for improvement as they all seem two dimensional.
This is just my opinion on what I felt when reading this in comparison to your other stories. However, I do look forward to see how the story goes.
8/19/2013 c6 
6rosepeddel
I really love this story! I find it's soo interesting :) I know it's been a while since you've updated, but I hope you do anyways Totally faving, great job! :)
6rosepeddelI really love this story! I find it's soo interesting :) I know it's been a while since you've updated, but I hope you do anyways Totally faving, great job! :)
6/8/2013 c6 foreternity
this has such great potential! i hope you update it sometime in the future :)
this has such great potential! i hope you update it sometime in the future :)
10/26/2012 c6 2Epic Asian
to answer your question about vampire or werewolves. i'd have to say werewolf, now note im not saying anything about Robert Pattinson or Taylor lautner, just vampires of werewolf.
since they're both predatory monsters, i've got nothing to lose. it's just that i think werewolves are less awkward to be around because you dont have a huge age difference and i love dogs anyways. and you can actually go on dates with a werewolf! :)
review: in the first few chapter you kept on repeating the first line and it's kind of weird
2Epic Asianto answer your question about vampire or werewolves. i'd have to say werewolf, now note im not saying anything about Robert Pattinson or Taylor lautner, just vampires of werewolf.
since they're both predatory monsters, i've got nothing to lose. it's just that i think werewolves are less awkward to be around because you dont have a huge age difference and i love dogs anyways. and you can actually go on dates with a werewolf! :)
review: in the first few chapter you kept on repeating the first line and it's kind of weird
7/21/2012 c6 choc me
How come you haven't updated this awesome story in 4 years? Are you at least planning on finishing it?
How come you haven't updated this awesome story in 4 years? Are you at least planning on finishing it?
1/30/2012 c6 MandymonsterXD
um, hi i just found your stories and well.. i really like it. can you finish it? please? i`ll love you forever. kk.. well.. bye bye..
um, hi i just found your stories and well.. i really like it. can you finish it? please? i`ll love you forever. kk.. well.. bye bye..
9/27/2011 c6 8DorkExpress
The talked, they talked! They held a whole conversation and he walked her to her class! I like this story!
8DorkExpressThe talked, they talked! They held a whole conversation and he walked her to her class! I like this story!
8/5/2011 c6 INDEESEEUS
UPDATE WOMAN. Or I'll find you and kill you myself.
And... werewolves. More rugged and... hot. Literally. OH WHATEVER. Pleeeease update, I want to find out if Darren ever acquires a soul.
UPDATE WOMAN. Or I'll find you and kill you myself.
And... werewolves. More rugged and... hot. Literally. OH WHATEVER. Pleeeease update, I want to find out if Darren ever acquires a soul.
7/30/2011 c6 renee
i love this more than i can type out right now! the fact tht she can see in the future is friggin cool itself an i really hope the darren loses the playboy attitude and starts feeling protective of avani =.= hate how he just shoves everything off life tht gr gr and avani stop being so obvious gal! i wonder wht her mom thinks of the date update soon!
i love this more than i can type out right now! the fact tht she can see in the future is friggin cool itself an i really hope the darren loses the playboy attitude and starts feeling protective of avani =.= hate how he just shoves everything off life tht gr gr and avani stop being so obvious gal! i wonder wht her mom thinks of the date update soon!
7/14/2011 c6 I'll Cry If You Don't
Please, please, please, please update this story. I think it's pretty awesomely awesome XD xxx
Please, please, please, please update this story. I think it's pretty awesomely awesome XD xxx
5/27/2011 c6 2CityBlackOut
So i'm reading these stories from a very interesting author, but it seems she's gone MIA for a while now. . . And my heart is breaking. I really really don't like the feeling of being left on a half cliff (seeing as most of the incomplete works haven't quite gotten to a climax yet) and i really really want to read more! :) so please update and i'll be waiting ^-^
2CityBlackOutSo i'm reading these stories from a very interesting author, but it seems she's gone MIA for a while now. . . And my heart is breaking. I really really don't like the feeling of being left on a half cliff (seeing as most of the incomplete works haven't quite gotten to a climax yet) and i really really want to read more! :) so please update and i'll be waiting ^-^
2/28/2011 c6 LivinLyfe2TheFullest
i love this story as well :D
whoa i finished all your stories in one day (:
i really wish you would update all your stories because you and your stories are spectacular and i wish you all the best through your whole college experience :D
i love this story as well :D
whoa i finished all your stories in one day (:
i really wish you would update all your stories because you and your stories are spectacular and i wish you all the best through your whole college experience :D