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for Playtime's over

10/18/2008 c1 612simpleplan13
fp messed up and repeated your first line twice.

I like how you capitalize dolly, making it a name, but you didn't capitalize it the first time which seems really odd.

Your capitalization in general is not consistent. In the beginning you do it with the punctuation and then you just do the first word of very line. Again I would pick one and stick with it.

I do like the piece, the descriptions are nice and the whole Dolly thing is a really unique addition to the piece.

PS If you're bored check out the Review Game forum and/or it's Review Marathon (link in my profile).

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