for where neither seraphim nor raindrops go6/2/2011 c10 
1Can'tStopSeeingOwls
I love this story. Your writing is so honest and seems really well thought out and interesting. I expected Jason's character to be a bit more involved than he was, but I suppose it would have detracted from Mia and probably altered the conclusion a bit. Also it reminded me of a book called Broken Soup by Jenny Valentine, which is all about grief and the consequences of death. I really enjoyed the development of Mia, you could really feel it in the writing.
1Can'tStopSeeingOwlsI love this story. Your writing is so honest and seems really well thought out and interesting. I expected Jason's character to be a bit more involved than he was, but I suppose it would have detracted from Mia and probably altered the conclusion a bit. Also it reminded me of a book called Broken Soup by Jenny Valentine, which is all about grief and the consequences of death. I really enjoyed the development of Mia, you could really feel it in the writing.
1/26/2010 c2 5Alias Blue
Chapter 2 is just as good as the first and the perfect follow on. I like how her reaction is progressing and her thoughts, and all of it, seem realistic. I particularly like Jason - what a nice guy, and I like how he's sort of acting like an older brother with her - which is a great parallel as it makes me think of maybe that's how Vincent used to be? Or maybe he's acting more like a brother than Vincent did, which is why she freaks out? Hm, I like it.
Chapter 3 - a little short- I'm begging for more here there's barely anything, but I like how she's pointing out to herself the contrast between her and Vincent.
5Alias BlueChapter 2 is just as good as the first and the perfect follow on. I like how her reaction is progressing and her thoughts, and all of it, seem realistic. I particularly like Jason - what a nice guy, and I like how he's sort of acting like an older brother with her - which is a great parallel as it makes me think of maybe that's how Vincent used to be? Or maybe he's acting more like a brother than Vincent did, which is why she freaks out? Hm, I like it.
Chapter 3 - a little short- I'm begging for more here there's barely anything, but I like how she's pointing out to herself the contrast between her and Vincent.
1/17/2010 c1 Alias Blue
Okay, I like this too. :) You have a nice, sort of fluid writing style. It's so easy to read and get into. You've already established the character well too. I have to say I think Vincent is such a great name. XD And based on your brother? I'm sure you don't hate him to the point that you want him to go off himself? ;-/
Anyway I'm favouriting and I'll probably come back to finish later.
Okay, I like this too. :) You have a nice, sort of fluid writing style. It's so easy to read and get into. You've already established the character well too. I have to say I think Vincent is such a great name. XD And based on your brother? I'm sure you don't hate him to the point that you want him to go off himself? ;-/
Anyway I'm favouriting and I'll probably come back to finish later.
10/19/2008 c1 45deefective
I absolutely loved the way you wrote this chapter. Every single word just fits exactly into the right place. NOTHING is overdone or cheesy or awkward. Also, I love the characterization you have going for this. I can already see what type of person this main character is going to be and that helps a story a lot. It adds that extra dimension that readers need to feel as if they are really READING this. Nicely done.
-Dee, from the Review Marathon.
[Check up on it. Link's in my profile.]
45deefectiveI absolutely loved the way you wrote this chapter. Every single word just fits exactly into the right place. NOTHING is overdone or cheesy or awkward. Also, I love the characterization you have going for this. I can already see what type of person this main character is going to be and that helps a story a lot. It adds that extra dimension that readers need to feel as if they are really READING this. Nicely done.
-Dee, from the Review Marathon.
[Check up on it. Link's in my profile.]
10/13/2008 c8 16Yereanth16
Happy B-day! great chapter I can see why it your Favorite one. I'd rate this a 12 out of 10 lol. anyways hope u have a sweet birthday^^
-Yery-
16Yereanth16Happy B-day! great chapter I can see why it your Favorite one. I'd rate this a 12 out of 10 lol. anyways hope u have a sweet birthday^^
-Yery-
10/12/2008 c7 Yereanth16
lol u r funny the author note was very funny. All of your chapter are very interesting anyways chapter six and 7 were beyond good!keep up the awesome work
-Y-
lol u r funny the author note was very funny. All of your chapter are very interesting anyways chapter six and 7 were beyond good!keep up the awesome work
-Y-
10/11/2008 c6 3Jeex
I have no idea why you don't have any reviews for this. we have a problem. So to the review.
I guess I should be putting these into seperate ones but I am wayy to lazy.
Chapter 1: I absolutely loved chapter one. It was so heartbreaking that I was mad genuinely mad at Vincent. The writing was very touching and everything. I wish it would have been much longer. Maybe a little more detail an anedote here or there to stregthen the chapter to be so much more. though the lasck of details did add something to the story. the last line 'As long as I stay angry. 'I’ll be fine', it is not foreshadow as much as her new found way of dealing with things.
Chapter 2: Favorite chapter because of Jason. I love him already becausse of their connection with one another and the future that they may have romance or just friendship. but I feel that they can help each other cope. But I love that her friends were there to witness this and that she wanted it to be a secret, great plotting.
Chapter 3& 4: these are way too short, not that they aren't important it's just that there is so much detail and character developtment that you can be putting in there. long chapter (10-20) really attract faithful readers. As for the acting out- there should be so much more there. I want to know what was her thoguht process was, if this is in first person you have to let us in their mind. Right now these chapters seem like and outline on sparknotes about a long novel just hit the main points and go- no detail or explantion.
Chapter 5& 6: Once again there could be so much more. if this is her first time doing something so uncharateristic we don't know that because there's not enough charaterization in the fisrt chapter other then the first two. but maybe you should add a bad friend, a friend who doesn't have her best interest at heart because these last chapter aren't as beautiful as the first two which were amazing adn they might need something more to move the story along.
I think Jason should come back too, because i love him. -smile- if you don't want to add more to your chapters then you might wasnt to combine your chapters.
But please continue i love the plott!
3JeexI have no idea why you don't have any reviews for this. we have a problem. So to the review.
I guess I should be putting these into seperate ones but I am wayy to lazy.
Chapter 1: I absolutely loved chapter one. It was so heartbreaking that I was mad genuinely mad at Vincent. The writing was very touching and everything. I wish it would have been much longer. Maybe a little more detail an anedote here or there to stregthen the chapter to be so much more. though the lasck of details did add something to the story. the last line 'As long as I stay angry. 'I’ll be fine', it is not foreshadow as much as her new found way of dealing with things.
Chapter 2: Favorite chapter because of Jason. I love him already becausse of their connection with one another and the future that they may have romance or just friendship. but I feel that they can help each other cope. But I love that her friends were there to witness this and that she wanted it to be a secret, great plotting.
Chapter 3& 4: these are way too short, not that they aren't important it's just that there is so much detail and character developtment that you can be putting in there. long chapter (10-20) really attract faithful readers. As for the acting out- there should be so much more there. I want to know what was her thoguht process was, if this is in first person you have to let us in their mind. Right now these chapters seem like and outline on sparknotes about a long novel just hit the main points and go- no detail or explantion.
Chapter 5& 6: Once again there could be so much more. if this is her first time doing something so uncharateristic we don't know that because there's not enough charaterization in the fisrt chapter other then the first two. but maybe you should add a bad friend, a friend who doesn't have her best interest at heart because these last chapter aren't as beautiful as the first two which were amazing adn they might need something more to move the story along.
I think Jason should come back too, because i love him. -smile- if you don't want to add more to your chapters then you might wasnt to combine your chapters.
But please continue i love the plott!
10/10/2008 c5 16Yereanth16
I love your story, I actually found the drug dealer amusing, I think mia is a cool character, anyways you rock!
-Y-
16Yereanth16I love your story, I actually found the drug dealer amusing, I think mia is a cool character, anyways you rock!
-Y-