for Scrawl10/18/2008 c1 InSilverShadows
One nitpick-"pointless and an empty gesture."
Change it to "a pointless, empty gesture." Since it's already a dependent clause at the end of the sentence, combining these phrases without the contraction will keep it neat and tidy, without the change in pitch that naturally comes and makes the sentence feel long.
I really love this one. I read it three times total, I think, and got something different out of it each time-the first, how creativity gets boxed in now, the second, how sometimes youth is given infinitely more freedom when it comes to restraints, how when you reach a certain age you lose that looseness and freedom you had in adolescence.
I dunno.
Maybe I am reading in too much.
Dat science teacher sound like Ms. Morgan. :P
One nitpick-"pointless and an empty gesture."
Change it to "a pointless, empty gesture." Since it's already a dependent clause at the end of the sentence, combining these phrases without the contraction will keep it neat and tidy, without the change in pitch that naturally comes and makes the sentence feel long.
I really love this one. I read it three times total, I think, and got something different out of it each time-the first, how creativity gets boxed in now, the second, how sometimes youth is given infinitely more freedom when it comes to restraints, how when you reach a certain age you lose that looseness and freedom you had in adolescence.
I dunno.
Maybe I am reading in too much.
Dat science teacher sound like Ms. Morgan. :P
10/15/2008 c1 
21so i sing to the stars
Hahaha aw, this was really cute. I liked it. :^) You're so good at writing descriptions and metaphors that aren't anywhere near cliche, and I'm having a bad review writing day so you're not getting a review you deserve. Sorry!
21so i sing to the starsHahaha aw, this was really cute. I liked it. :^) You're so good at writing descriptions and metaphors that aren't anywhere near cliche, and I'm having a bad review writing day so you're not getting a review you deserve. Sorry!
10/10/2008 c1 18HollyBlair
That was amazing. It perfectly captured the soul of a writer. You had some wonderful similes. My favorite was the one about super-sizing a salad at McDonalds. Way to go.
18HollyBlairThat was amazing. It perfectly captured the soul of a writer. You had some wonderful similes. My favorite was the one about super-sizing a salad at McDonalds. Way to go.