for Entranced7/16/2011 c1 Anisa
I remember Reading this.. You'd bring in a chapter at a time and we'd all fight for it :D
It brings back memories..You should finish it.
I remember Reading this.. You'd bring in a chapter at a time and we'd all fight for it :D
It brings back memories..You should finish it.
10/24/2008 c2 Spurlunk
Nice. I like how this is going. However, one problem is that it seems a bit anachronistic. Like if it's set in another 'world', where things are a bit older, you know, then how come they talk so normally. And how come - I don't know, it just confuses me a bit. The dialogue style is fine,I think you should just insert small details that would make the setting a bit more clear. However, you've kept my attention, and I am looking forward to reading more!
Nice. I like how this is going. However, one problem is that it seems a bit anachronistic. Like if it's set in another 'world', where things are a bit older, you know, then how come they talk so normally. And how come - I don't know, it just confuses me a bit. The dialogue style is fine,I think you should just insert small details that would make the setting a bit more clear. However, you've kept my attention, and I am looking forward to reading more!