for Defining6/11/2013 c1 SaraCaruana
I know it's been ages since you wrote this but i love and i couldn't resist reviewing. I love how you described Leila, it's actually really sad that she just wants to disappear... i don't really know what else to say...
I know it's been ages since you wrote this but i love and i couldn't resist reviewing. I love how you described Leila, it's actually really sad that she just wants to disappear... i don't really know what else to say...
4/21/2013 c1 
229punctured.lungs
This is lovely. I love the point of view, and the fact that it's not about beauty. It's wonderfully-written.
I think the end is a little bit unrealistic. Just Vinny's reaction. It works for the piece, though.
Anyway, great work.
229punctured.lungsThis is lovely. I love the point of view, and the fact that it's not about beauty. It's wonderfully-written.
I think the end is a little bit unrealistic. Just Vinny's reaction. It works for the piece, though.
Anyway, great work.
5/31/2011 c1 midnight tales
I think this is lovely and it has got to be one of the best one-shots that I have ever read. your writing flows wonderfully. you've made this story, the characters in it, feel so real and human. I enjoyed reading this very much.
I think this is lovely and it has got to be one of the best one-shots that I have ever read. your writing flows wonderfully. you've made this story, the characters in it, feel so real and human. I enjoyed reading this very much.
3/13/2011 c1 1Narissara
I have to say this is really one of the best one-shots out there. It really makes you think, feel and really have empathy for other people.
1NarissaraI have to say this is really one of the best one-shots out there. It really makes you think, feel and really have empathy for other people.
1/22/2011 c1 xXspiltmilkXx
This story is very beautiful : ) The meaning and emotion put into it is outstanding. It flows wonderfully and the language is colorful and exciting.
Great piece! ^^
This story is very beautiful : ) The meaning and emotion put into it is outstanding. It flows wonderfully and the language is colorful and exciting.
Great piece! ^^
8/4/2010 c1 2TheGoddessofFlame
I just have to go on record of saying that I love the concept and the fact that you went as far as to dive into the language and beleifs shows the mark of a wonderful reasercher. I was truly delighted with this and I'm so glad she didn't die from starvation and that she did stand up for herself. This is so amazing and no one no matter what race deserves to be treated like that because we are all Americans.
With love,
TGoF :)
2TheGoddessofFlameI just have to go on record of saying that I love the concept and the fact that you went as far as to dive into the language and beleifs shows the mark of a wonderful reasercher. I was truly delighted with this and I'm so glad she didn't die from starvation and that she did stand up for herself. This is so amazing and no one no matter what race deserves to be treated like that because we are all Americans.
With love,
TGoF :)
6/30/2010 c1 35LittlePieceLove
This story was so amazing, I don't want to ruin it with my words.
Please, keep writing.
Nice ending, too.
It was my favorite part.
35LittlePieceLoveThis story was so amazing, I don't want to ruin it with my words.
Please, keep writing.
Nice ending, too.
It was my favorite part.
6/28/2010 c1 7talktome
I really like your writing style. It just flows and I can fall into it, somehow. I love all the little capitalized phrases, “the Unplan of Suffering” and “The American Teenager.” They made me smile.
And all the little things, the details you add, that really bring the story to life. The way the counselor talked, the food theme that wasn’t overly in your face, but enough, and the other things, like the apple, and the plane, and the tree, and the meanings of the names that you brought back.
"What I'm saying is that we all have these defining moments in our lives, for better or for worse."
Nice quote. I liked the ending a lot, too, the “defining moment” she has. Even if it doesn’t change for him, she knows now. And that’s enough. It’s sick to think that there are people like that, though. And they won’t change. It’s…frustrating, but there comes a point when all you can do is shake your head and just walk away.
Thanks for sharing!
7talktomeI really like your writing style. It just flows and I can fall into it, somehow. I love all the little capitalized phrases, “the Unplan of Suffering” and “The American Teenager.” They made me smile.
And all the little things, the details you add, that really bring the story to life. The way the counselor talked, the food theme that wasn’t overly in your face, but enough, and the other things, like the apple, and the plane, and the tree, and the meanings of the names that you brought back.
"What I'm saying is that we all have these defining moments in our lives, for better or for worse."
Nice quote. I liked the ending a lot, too, the “defining moment” she has. Even if it doesn’t change for him, she knows now. And that’s enough. It’s sick to think that there are people like that, though. And they won’t change. It’s…frustrating, but there comes a point when all you can do is shake your head and just walk away.
Thanks for sharing!
5/25/2010 c1 3Crossed Fingers
I found this beautiful and sadly moving in a strange way. It reminded me of myself. I went through things very similar sophomore year of high school.
Also, I liked how the different section of the piece were connected but separate incidents at the same time. It made for a very interesting (quick) read.
Keep up the good work!
3Crossed FingersI found this beautiful and sadly moving in a strange way. It reminded me of myself. I went through things very similar sophomore year of high school.
Also, I liked how the different section of the piece were connected but separate incidents at the same time. It made for a very interesting (quick) read.
Keep up the good work!
2/2/2010 c1 L'Archange
This was absolutely brilliant. And powerful. Your writing is amazing - so is your characterization. Whether or not she is, the depiction jumps off the page. Based on real or not, that takes amazing skill. Wow. Wishing there was more but I know that's not possible. :)
Thanks for posting this.
This was absolutely brilliant. And powerful. Your writing is amazing - so is your characterization. Whether or not she is, the depiction jumps off the page. Based on real or not, that takes amazing skill. Wow. Wishing there was more but I know that's not possible. :)
Thanks for posting this.
10/11/2009 c1 CCC
Hi,I just read this and I love it n while It nvr hppns 2 me bt I cn relate..I'm a muslim but nt arab,living in a peaceful country where Islam is prcticed well.Here,we mix in with ppl 4rm othr religions wifout cntrovrsy cuz Islam means peace.Racism still exist tho bt usually nt like Vinny's case aside 4rm dat,I prefer cooking less so the food wont go 2 wste bt yeah we eat a lot snce we cook again when we r hungry again.,
Hi,I just read this and I love it n while It nvr hppns 2 me bt I cn relate..I'm a muslim but nt arab,living in a peaceful country where Islam is prcticed well.Here,we mix in with ppl 4rm othr religions wifout cntrovrsy cuz Islam means peace.Racism still exist tho bt usually nt like Vinny's case aside 4rm dat,I prefer cooking less so the food wont go 2 wste bt yeah we eat a lot snce we cook again when we r hungry again.,
9/30/2009 c1 2S. J. Komza
Oh, I am perfectly bowled over!
This kind of piece brings out a lot of controversy (religion and politics-wise) because it is so passionately opinionated. You, the author, seem to want to defy the whole world with every word you spit out. Fortunately, it's not an emotional clutter. From the bigger things in life to the smaller, more insignificant ones (like the dinner part), and your contrasting comparison of bombs and chemistry class.
This piece is deeply philosophical with a deceitful (in a good way) veneer of platitude, because it starts off seeming like any other teenage angst story.
It's quite a blow when we find out that Leila is Muslim. Well timed. Absolutely staggering.
If you have never watched the movie 'Persepolis,' then I fervently recommend it to you. It deals with similar themes, and the heroine of the movie also has issues with accepting her heritage.
All the best,
Suzie
2S. J. KomzaOh, I am perfectly bowled over!
This kind of piece brings out a lot of controversy (religion and politics-wise) because it is so passionately opinionated. You, the author, seem to want to defy the whole world with every word you spit out. Fortunately, it's not an emotional clutter. From the bigger things in life to the smaller, more insignificant ones (like the dinner part), and your contrasting comparison of bombs and chemistry class.
This piece is deeply philosophical with a deceitful (in a good way) veneer of platitude, because it starts off seeming like any other teenage angst story.
It's quite a blow when we find out that Leila is Muslim. Well timed. Absolutely staggering.
If you have never watched the movie 'Persepolis,' then I fervently recommend it to you. It deals with similar themes, and the heroine of the movie also has issues with accepting her heritage.
All the best,
Suzie
9/11/2009 c1 smile at the sun
great writing. It's amazing that you've conveyed so much of who you really are in this. I enjoyed reading it.
great writing. It's amazing that you've conveyed so much of who you really are in this. I enjoyed reading it.
9/11/2009 c1 Hi. Hello. Goodbye
This is beautiful.
This is beautiful.