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8/18/2009 c1 22papermask
This was such a wonderful piece, real and human. I felt for the main character, and I wanted her to be happy. This is really very good.
8/1/2009 c1 Si-Sidera
This story has such a great quality to it! I admire how well you approach the nature of humans, and the world we live in. I especially loved how you said that our bodies are our protective shells that hide our fragile humanity. A great line.

I think that the fact that you are approaching the effect of 911 and the terroism through a girls eyes adds something special. There are so many viewpoints in the world, that we concentrate on one and forget about the others. Thank you for writing this story.
7/30/2009 c1 7FictionismyGame
Wow, you know most of your stories really make you think. And this one especially. I'm writing this at like 10, and my brain is starting to go into shut down mode, so if this doesn't make sense, I'm sorry. Plus I don't really know how to word it. This makes you think about what could happen to religious people and how they are treated even every day, now. I mean I'm christian, but most people don't find that as different as Muslims sometimes, but sometimes they do. And if any of this is insulting. Once again I must apologize, considering I couldn't remember the word for insulting a little while ago. But wow, this is deep. Good job.
5/9/2009 c1 andeleted
Hah, I actually went and got a spoon from downstairs, put it in my mouth, and spoke, just to see what it sounded like. Good description there~

ANY way, I would just like to say, Bravo. This has my mind reeling! The way you put our modern society into such characterization was marvelous.

["People are so hungry, these days; they have no control."] Like that, right there, pretty much sums up the past few generations, referring to much more than food.

And I, personally, wanted to drop kick Vinny in the face. Ugh people like that.

That's another thing, whilst reading this, I felt little spurs of anger, sadness, in-your-face!...ness. Point being, this really got me to feel, which is probably the hardest thing for an author to accomplish.

The thing I loved most had to be the flow. I love that you built up to the main point of the story instead of making it known from the start.

There's so much I want to say about this, I can't really get it all to come out straight, hah.

Oh! The meaning of names was a nice touch, and it was good to see it repeated a bit, sticking with the opening line. It tied some parts together splendidly.

I adore Leila. Her thought processes really let the reader understand her and relate to her.

I truly can't find anything negative or critical to say about this.

I loved it.

5/2/2009 c1 4bringmayflowers
I LOVE this.

Oh my gosh.

It's two in the morning here and I found this through your livejournal but oh my goodness... I LOVE this. I love how you connected the meanings of names to the Bible, to the apple, to Muslims, to the racist jerks in our society, to eating... Wow... just wow.

I know this isn't very much of a critique but I am too impressed to even think straight.

"Being hungry feels better than food tastes. It is the only time I feel any power over myself."

THIS... It just defines something I've...well...I've felt before.


I am...speechless.


I commend you.
3/8/2009 c1 11MissLaFontizzle
This really works for me. I have some connection to this, not being Muslim, but being different. Making a name for oneself is important, and wasting the time on being invisible isn't worth it. I enjoyed it.
2/28/2009 c1 5brittle hearts
What I like most about this piece is that you brought us into the main theme gradually, which makes the impact much greater. Also, despite the short length, you managed to bring out Leila's characterisation so well that I really felt for her whenever she wanted to disappear, and shared that sense of triumph with her when she finally told Vinny what she'd wanted to say for ages. This was really poignant and beautiful. I love how your works always have an important message behind them, because that's what writing should be about!
2/1/2009 c1 9Dot Cubed
omg, writ. this was absolutely amazing. like i'm sitting here, contemplating whether or not i'm going to cry, because i don't know, something about this just DID that to me, if that makes any sense. and like, i am so mad at myself for not actually reading this earlier and just sort of skimming it all the time, because this was honestly that amazing and i love leila to PIECES but my heart breaks for her at the same time and vinny is such an ass and i am totally not coherent right now. i want to be, but i'm not, and part of me blames that on the fact that i just woke up (i slept really late today...it's 1:35) but i don't know.

argh i wish i could write a better review but i am just currently astounded by how GOOD/AMAZING/FANTASTICAL this was. omg, is fantastical actually a word? because normally firefox shoves a little red line under it but that's not happening now, and i think that kind of made my day.


this was just too perfect. and i love how it all connected, like when her mom gave her an apple at the end and just-i just LOVED it. i really can't say anything worthwhile, and for that i apologize.
1/22/2009 c1 Arabea
I hate people like that - anyone who judges another person by their outward appearance is pathetic. Leila has real strength. Unfortunately, I know what it's like to be stared at and judged like that, although for a different reason entirely. A very good story. =)
12/30/2008 c1 9Narq
OMG! This was wonderful! Simply wondeful! Poor kid, I was simply captured in the story until the very end!

And to prove my theory that this story is so good, I'm going to add it to my favourites!

12/27/2008 c1 24fairies and snapple
Wow. Very intense. My thoughts may not be well-defined or articulate, but there you have them. Laila's very... real (cue equally intense music).
12/26/2008 c1 12Leonis

I really like this one; your style is as good as ever, smooth, succinct, deep. I like how you don't equate anorexia to vanity. More importantly, I suppose, I "identify", because there are incidents in your story that I feel everyone has experienced at some time, like the feeling of awkwardness, being different, and/or not being able to get your point across, no matter how hard you try. (In this case, being afraid to, I guess.)

And I really appreciate how you're writing something that concerns your life and putting it up for the public, especially since the issues involved are a little contentious. I think you're being really brave about it. :)

There are a lot of issues being addressed here, and even though it was short, it made a lot of impact. I think this works much better than several argumentative essays on racism and anorexia put together.

Keep up the good work! :)
12/22/2008 c1 Guest
you fucking arab
12/17/2008 c1 4DevonnyAuriel
I really, really liked this. I went into it, not really sure what it was going to be about, but it's a great piece. More serious than Talia, which is cool. I like when authors post something that makes you realize a bit more about them.
12/8/2008 c1 Suneri
Lovely and well-written. I like the ways Leila finds to express herself before really turning to her mother, and also how...well, I guess, she responds to her mother talking to her. I like all the comments on moments and Biblical beliefs and the war everyone forgets we're fighting; definitely some thoughts I've had myself.

(Also, seriously, I'm not even Muslim, but it really did kind of suck to be brown in 2001)
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