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for Queen of Nothing

10/19/2008 c1 612simpleplan13
fp repeated your title twice.

You start the piece of with correctly punctuating a sentence and then you completely stop doing it. I don't like that, it's very inconsistent.

I kinda wish there was more in the transition from her reigning to her burning at the stake it just switched so suddenly it confused me.

I did like the piece though, the word choice is perfect for a piece about royalty. Your descriptions were really nice as well and I like the title, though I kinda wish it had matched up with the last line, that would've been cool. Anyway nice job.

PS If you're bored check out the Review Game forum and/or it's Review Marathon (link in my profile)
10/14/2008 c1 4ghosttown
I love the use of words in this one. Very nice. Keep up the good work.

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