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12/19/2008 c1 7Fahzzy
so true. i feel like this is me everyday, but i only acknowledge it sometimes, its hard otherwise. really resonant...really good.
11/26/2008 c1 8KarenHomer
awesome!

love the repetition.

keep it up

do you do stories as well?

x
10/14/2008 c2 66WonderWing
The ending surprised me. So full of emotion, then suddenly nothing =/ That's why grunge came outta the northwest, I s'pose. heheh.

Your writing is good, there is a lot of room for growth here, if you take up poetry as your craft. You already have the ability to assume a consistently dissociated mindset, necessary for good poetry, an ability learned through life and perfected through experience on pen and paper.

Keep writing!
10/14/2008 c1 WonderWing
Damn, pretty honest and upfront. What surprises me is that you're feeling this in eighth grade... I can remember feeling on top of the world and frustrated all the time back then, but that's it. I think you'll be surprised, as you get older, to see how much this feeling your poem here just described comes into play.

I don't wanna sound redundant, but aren't we who we portray ourselves to be in our own minds? If you think you are someone holding back the true you from society, then I think you will be that way, ya know?

No matter though, at some point in your life, you will slip, and you will find yourself immersed even deeper in life, to the point that you no longer can even try to be someone else than who you are. You just don't have the time for those games anymore. All you have time to do is react honestly, and work with your feelings not from the strings of a puppeteer but with the hands of one performing his craft. It's pretty much inevitable, and it's what they call 'growing up'. It sucks balls and I fight that helplessness to this day, myself.
10/14/2008 c1 270dustytiger
hey first and foremost thanks for the review, you are very through with your thoughts, the only one i want to comment on is the end, i tend to leave a lot of the poems i write open-ended only because what i was feeling at the time was not resolved in my life thus cannot be resolved in my writing

now onto your poem, i like it, i love the theme of masks because it's something that everyone can understand especially when they are sad and hiding, it's very effective, and enjoyable

my suggestion is to edit your stuff back to what it originally looked like when you typed it rather than letting space it, it takes away from the flow (i find) and i can tell that you are going to a rhythm (if not a shape in the final poem) which is not visually evident with too much spacing so it's harder to get my brain to read it right in the first few lines

thank you for sharing i did enjoy this peice
10/14/2008 c1 81Princess-anna57
Great piece. I can really relate. Write on.

~Anna~ ^_^

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