for Orion6/13/2015 c1 
28Nickolaus Pacione
No bad for a college piece man have you read the John Carter books by Edgar Rice Borroughs? This reminds me of something that wouldn't be too out of place. I do hang out here from time to time and returned with a few short freebies here and there.
28Nickolaus PacioneNo bad for a college piece man have you read the John Carter books by Edgar Rice Borroughs? This reminds me of something that wouldn't be too out of place. I do hang out here from time to time and returned with a few short freebies here and there.
3/18/2013 c1 7okunoin
This is very well written :) The narrative voice is very strong.
It's refreshing to read something like this, under the mountains of trash that FP endures. Keep writing.
7okunoinThis is very well written :) The narrative voice is very strong.
It's refreshing to read something like this, under the mountains of trash that FP endures. Keep writing.
7/11/2009 c1 3Adorebellion
The story was really good! Everything is! Even your vocabulary and descriptions XD
Keep up the good work~
3AdorebellionThe story was really good! Everything is! Even your vocabulary and descriptions XD
Keep up the good work~
2/26/2009 c1 3Zacharies Ringweaver
A very excellent story. What strikes me the most is how original it seems (at least, compared to conventional stories from Fictionpress). There were a few sentences that seemed strange to me that you might want to fix. I can't recall them right now, though. Overall, great, great work. Hope there are more stories out there like this. ^^
3Zacharies RingweaverA very excellent story. What strikes me the most is how original it seems (at least, compared to conventional stories from Fictionpress). There were a few sentences that seemed strange to me that you might want to fix. I can't recall them right now, though. Overall, great, great work. Hope there are more stories out there like this. ^^
11/19/2008 c1 4ZXero
Wow. This was pretty awesome. I was captivated almost the entire time. Very nicely done piece of art. The image and atmosphere created through the ideas of space were just incredible.
4ZXeroWow. This was pretty awesome. I was captivated almost the entire time. Very nicely done piece of art. The image and atmosphere created through the ideas of space were just incredible.
10/27/2008 c1 12Dwigt
Hey this is supergill on me new penname
this is such a gorgeously atmospheric piece. i just looked over some of your older stuff and you've definitely grown as writer since then ... you, especially in this story, have a very unique and affecting voice. the only thing i'd say in critique is to make sure your metaphors keep with the atmosphere that you're creating: "...which birthed two hot rivers tumbling down my cheeks" Birthed doesn't have the right connotation I dont think for the context ... But that just miht be me being nitpicky. any way great great story. it was worth the wait to hear from ya again!
12DwigtHey this is supergill on me new penname
this is such a gorgeously atmospheric piece. i just looked over some of your older stuff and you've definitely grown as writer since then ... you, especially in this story, have a very unique and affecting voice. the only thing i'd say in critique is to make sure your metaphors keep with the atmosphere that you're creating: "...which birthed two hot rivers tumbling down my cheeks" Birthed doesn't have the right connotation I dont think for the context ... But that just miht be me being nitpicky. any way great great story. it was worth the wait to hear from ya again!