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6/13/2015 c1 26Nickolaus Pacione
No bad for a college piece man have you read the John Carter books by Edgar Rice Borroughs? This reminds me of something that wouldn't be too out of place. I do hang out here from time to time and returned with a few short freebies here and there.
3/18/2013 c1 7okunoin
This is very well written :) The narrative voice is very strong.
It's refreshing to read something like this, under the mountains of trash that FP endures. Keep writing.
7/11/2009 c1 3Adorebellion
The story was really good! Everything is! Even your vocabulary and descriptions XD

Keep up the good work~
2/26/2009 c1 3Zacharies Ringweaver
A very excellent story. What strikes me the most is how original it seems (at least, compared to conventional stories from Fictionpress). There were a few sentences that seemed strange to me that you might want to fix. I can't recall them right now, though. Overall, great, great work. Hope there are more stories out there like this. ^^
11/19/2008 c1 4ZXero
Wow. This was pretty awesome. I was captivated almost the entire time. Very nicely done piece of art. The image and atmosphere created through the ideas of space were just incredible.
10/27/2008 c1 12Dwigt
Hey this is supergill on me new penname

this is such a gorgeously atmospheric piece. i just looked over some of your older stuff and you've definitely grown as writer since then ... you, especially in this story, have a very unique and affecting voice. the only thing i'd say in critique is to make sure your metaphors keep with the atmosphere that you're creating: "...which birthed two hot rivers tumbling down my cheeks" Birthed doesn't have the right connotation I dont think for the context ... But that just miht be me being nitpicky. any way great great story. it was worth the wait to hear from ya again!
10/14/2008 c1 8Written
wow; haunting and evocative. I'm definitely very affected after reading that. not sure what else to say. beautiful piece.

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