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11/21/2008 c9 L
hello, it's me again, anxiously awaiting the next chappie :) please update please!
11/15/2008 c9 L
please, please, please, please, please,please. UPDATE SOON I'll give you a cookie? two cookies? with extra chocolte chips? just PLEASE update soon :)
11/11/2008 c9 L
well it is good that you don't think I am bashing your story cuz I'm not, and yes I noticed, that chap flows so much better with the others now. I love the new chap, you keep it real and I love that. I love Zach in this chap, his true colors come out, not just the ones he shows at parties. I am in love with Christian, he has enough human flaws in him that he is still belivably human, the rest is all totally sweet, kind and gentlemanly. I think Ava's about to reach her turning point and I HATE Ryan, he doesn't get it, I wish he would go away, but I know we haven't seen the last of him and Sleezy,Stupid,and Serious Stooge. Your grammer is better in this chap, and it's okay if you just slap it up as is, the mistakes are minimal enough, but more polishing would make this diamond of a story SPARKLE. Wow, I am gushing a little too much now, I think I better say that's all for now.

P.S. I LOVE THIS STORY! UPDATE SOON PLEASE
11/9/2008 c9 zenia
She was almost raped? I wonder if she'll say something about that to Christian? Also, what did Zach want to talk to her about?
11/9/2008 c9 1AlphaBeatKayGee
=D !

its a good thing she's talking to him again and letting herself confide in him! I wish she would just let everything go but what fun would there be with no obstacles!

anyhow; love the story, honestly && update soon1

-kaygee
11/8/2008 c8 2ifloveisalabor
This might sound completely childish, but I love your story. I can't wait to read what happens next!
11/6/2008 c8 zenia
This is her frist kiss? Wow. I guess she's really falling for him. Falling for him. You get it? Falling for him. Huh? Huh? Ha I kill my self. (sigh)

-Read You Later
11/6/2008 c8 5misformadness
ok that was so unfair!

they were supposed to kiss!

i love/hate you at the same time

update soon!

or i shall eat you!
11/6/2008 c8 L
hey there, I hope that you don't take my critique the wrong way. this is another absolutely wonderful addition, your presents and pasts were a lot better and I did not see any really obvious grammatical stuff. Then again, I don't usually pick things apart because then you'll think I'm bashing your story. And I'm totally NOT I love it to death. I love your charectars, they have their own voices and personalities that come alive and give the story real depth and life of it's own,it really grabs you and pulls you in. One thing I would caution you on is this: watch how fast you move the big events in your chapters along, two chap's ago she bruised Zach up pretty bad for touching her shoulder. In this chapter he isn't healed up at all and she hasn't even really gotten THAT angry(for her anyway being a recluse and all) about all of those people. It isn't bad and I loved the chapter but it is defiantely something to look out for in the future =) I hope you didn't take that as being mean or harsh or anything because it wasn't meant that way and I apologize if it did keep writing
11/6/2008 c8 JZK
the three scrooges - nice nickname - I would never have thought of soemthing like that - its pretty original

If Christian was real, I would so date him.

Awesome chapter, I cant wait for more!
11/4/2008 c7 1AlphaBeatKayGee
soo!

i really like where you're going with this story. Its quite intriguing actually! i hope you can update soon...Christian is def. my favorite character. This story is different than most fictionpress romances because its not so typical. Anyhow...love the story! & I'd get specific with what i love about it like the twists with characters and stuff and how "icy" she is but that'd take a while. hope this is satisfactory!

-kaygee
11/4/2008 c7 zenia
Great way to end the chapter. Update soon.
11/4/2008 c7 L
this is a beautifully written story, I like it immensely. You have me hooked already your story has a lot of feeling, emotion and depth of character that I really enjoy. You keep your characters real enough that they endear while still having that fairytale quality that makes it come alive and touch the heart, keep up the good work. The only criticism I have so far is that there are a few grammatical and spelling errors which happen to any story. singulars where there should be plurals, pasts with presents, but ll minor and easily fixable. keep up the awesome work, can't wait to see what happens next. =D
11/4/2008 c7 Agony of the Heart
This is a really good story!
11/2/2008 c6 A.M. Dawson
This is really good!

Keep it up and I can't wait for more. =)
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