Just In
for Kiss, But Don't Tell

4/26/2009 c1 46kyox88
i can feel the sensation, the mysterious kiss~~lolz
12/13/2008 c1 painted eyes
I really like this. The emotion is so strong and, well, true. The shortness of the poem really encapsulates the moment of the kiss.

One thing though, I thought the last line was a bit of an anti-climax, maybe if it was "Our secret" or something, I dunno, each writer has their own reasons for their choices.

Anyway, keep up the good work!

12/11/2008 c1 14Thoughtful Silence
Whoa, I really like this piece as well. The formate is great, and the simple word-choice effective. Like the other piece I reviewed, I mainly like this due to the raw emotion you instil within it. It's something that a lot of poems lack. Good job.

If there's one thing I didn't like... t'was the last line. It seemed like it didn't have the impact it should have... Maybe even if it was 'secretS' it'd be better. Meh, i don't know.

Anyways, keep up the writing.

- Silence.
12/11/2008 c1 fleur de l'est
Is this about how love is contaminated with stares and gossips etc?

Very good imagery, I especially liked the line "Pure, unadulterated bliss". Well done!

11/20/2008 c1 612simpleplan13
Thanks for your review awhile back, sorry it took me so long to return it.

fp repeated your first line twice

Is this a form where you need a noun as the last line? If not I would say the secret. That flows better with the previous line. I like the descriptions though, very true.
10/19/2008 c1 22instantramen
I've read all your work and I've got to say, this is my favorite piece, short and very powerful, excellent job!
10/19/2008 c1 21W. Griffin
I really like this! Good job!

I'm really impressed how much meaning you squeezed into *counts...* only twenty words - nicely done!

Please R&R,

-W Griffin
10/17/2008 c1 243Manuel Fajar
What is there, but a kiss, when all's awry ?

What is it makes whiskers stand end-on-end,—

But subtle, silken motion, lips-on-lips ?

What is there, but clear dewdrop on a rose,

Evaporating in Thy touch's heat ?

There's nothing to eternity not found,

In wondrous allegories of your musk ;

There's nothing to crumbling to dust with death,

As long as Thy embrace makes my heart pulse ;

So lover, here's cheers to Thy sweetest kiss,

Though Jupiter and Mars may look askance,

Through all the blackness of vast universe ;

There's nothing more immortal than this day,

There's nothing more enduring than Thy touch,

There's nothing more assuring than Thy love.

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